inpatience...

Im just a bit angry at the moment because NOTHING works out how I wish at the moment.
Im sitting here and actually i should learn something becos I write business studies on monday..but I really cant concentrate on that shit even if I really try to..and its sooo boring..who wants to know this stuff???
in addition I wanted to fly to manchester in october to visit a wonderful person but how should it be?? Im not allowed to..because its sooooo stupid to go to england twice within 3 months..it makes me angry becos thats the only place I wanna be at the moment and its a deep wish to go there.
I mean, Im really thankful about all the stuff that happens here at the mom..
on sunday stefan driess will come to goeppingen and there will be a prophetic evening and Im really lookin foreward to this..the sunday after that there will be domino again and I like domino and Im thankful that Ive got a church like this..and Im thankful that I can be a part of it and that I can help to let it grow..and sunday in 3 weeks were gonna go to the jesus treff to stuttgart which is also very good, I enjoyed it the last time ive been there..
and Ive got some wonderful friends here who support me all the time and I really really love them..but i ask myself if its a tall order just to try to experience some new things or to wanna see the world.
Im stuck here and thats the fact that pisses me off..I know that I should fix my eyes on jesus and that I should just try to do here what i can do..and Im really trying to make the best out of it..but its a bit hard when I always fix on that I actually dont wanna be here..maybe I should really start to realize that I live HERE and NOW. and not that I live UNFORTUNETELY here...because that makes it so depressing to be here, to live here, to do anything..
I should just accept that Ill come back to england sometime, when god thinks that its time to come back..maybe thats in winter, maybe thats next summer (where I will definitely get back there)..or what do I know..his plan is bigger, he has everythin in his hands and hes got another timetable as I have...why am I always in hurry? is hould train to be more patient..comes time, comes Gods working..