I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
(Casting crowns - praise you in this storm)
sometimes its not that easy to lift eyes and hands up to jesus to praise him becos sometimes things r just not goin like i wuld want them to..
Im sad these days.
becos I hate it to say goodbye to people that are important to me..
and I hate not to know what will happen...
and I hate to wait..
well actually its not that Im full of hate atm...just full of sadness.
cos everybodys leavin but me..I will stay here..pretend its good. let u think Im alrite.
and Im gonna go foreward and Im gonna praise the lord becos he is still good!
"all of my life, in every season, you are still god, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship"
God always stays the same and yes, sometimes he gives and sometimes he takes away...and sometimes its painful when he takes away..but he does not take away without a reason..he just takes away what destroys us and what isnt good for us..it hurts, but in the end it will be alrite!
no matter what comes I reli wanna try to fix my eyes upon jesus and to give him praie, every day, every hour, every minute of my life. Give praise, be joyful and thankful all the time becos God gave me so much..he gave me this life to live it just for him.
oh praise him!!
Montag, 29. Dezember 2008
Sonntag, 28. Dezember 2008
friendship..
where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness...
how do the people say?
friends are comin and friends are goin..of course there are some "friends" you lose in your life and its not the first time its happenin to me..
but..its someone I never thought this friendship will end..we knew each other for years, we actually were friends my whole life..
and now she has to concentrate on herself and only wants to have the memories?? gosh how stupid is this???
cant believe it..
actually Im starting to ask myself how the next 5 months will be..
kaddi will leave and actually I dont know anyone here with whom I could do all those things we did the last year..
seems like all my friends are fadin away somehow..the one does not want to know me anymore, the second only sees her boyfriend and has no time for me anyway..
of course there are people I love and who care about me but its just not the same..
with whom should I make music?? it perfectly fits to play music with kaddi..with whom should I drive to Tamm? to the Jesus Treff in Stuttgart? to Goeppingen? with whom should I do stupid fun photoshootings? with whom should I laugh??
with whom should I talk for hours, who would listen to me when I talk about one topic every and every day again? with whom should I dream? with whom should I go to the streets to make music? or with whom sould I go to the streets to pray for people? who will watch walt disney films with me? who would drive to the Ikea with me spontaneously?
whos there to take me in his arms when Im sad?
noone could but her!!
Im gonna miss you...but nevertheless Im sure u r gonna have a good time over there and maybe Im gonna have a good time too..I know its the right way for u to go and I know it wont be that long becos ur only 5 months away and Im gonna visit you..
I know its all not that bad but nevertheless sometimes its hard to think about...
I lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness...
how do the people say?
friends are comin and friends are goin..of course there are some "friends" you lose in your life and its not the first time its happenin to me..
but..its someone I never thought this friendship will end..we knew each other for years, we actually were friends my whole life..
and now she has to concentrate on herself and only wants to have the memories?? gosh how stupid is this???
cant believe it..
actually Im starting to ask myself how the next 5 months will be..
kaddi will leave and actually I dont know anyone here with whom I could do all those things we did the last year..
seems like all my friends are fadin away somehow..the one does not want to know me anymore, the second only sees her boyfriend and has no time for me anyway..
of course there are people I love and who care about me but its just not the same..
with whom should I make music?? it perfectly fits to play music with kaddi..with whom should I drive to Tamm? to the Jesus Treff in Stuttgart? to Goeppingen? with whom should I do stupid fun photoshootings? with whom should I laugh??
with whom should I talk for hours, who would listen to me when I talk about one topic every and every day again? with whom should I dream? with whom should I go to the streets to make music? or with whom sould I go to the streets to pray for people? who will watch walt disney films with me? who would drive to the Ikea with me spontaneously?
whos there to take me in his arms when Im sad?
noone could but her!!
Im gonna miss you...but nevertheless Im sure u r gonna have a good time over there and maybe Im gonna have a good time too..I know its the right way for u to go and I know it wont be that long becos ur only 5 months away and Im gonna visit you..
I know its all not that bad but nevertheless sometimes its hard to think about...
Sonntag, 21. Dezember 2008
how life goes..
lots of stuff is goin on in my life rite now..
some things are good, others are not that good..
good things are that Im gonna do the worship in DOMINO with Kaddi today..and Im sure both of us will enjoy it just to give praise to the lord. Becos we learned that its not about how it sounds or that it sounds perfectly, but about our hearts. and I think we both know how to do that.
Before DOMINO we will go into town today to make some street music.
Worship God on the streets of kirchheim.
Its something different, but we wanna do what god told us what we should do last week.
And I think its gonna be good.
Yesterday we organized a breakfast for the people from the streets. it was a good experience to talk to them and stuff, and now Im very excited about christmas eve becos Im gonna go to esslingen to give food to the homeless ppl and Im lookin foreward to this.
At new years eve we r gonna be at the worship night in dettingen and we will play there.
Im reli lookin foreward to this becos I cant imagine anything that would be better than starting the new year with giving praise to the lord.
Im excited what comes in the new year, we will be at the "Neujahrsfreizeit" on the Nordalb and I expect a lot from god.
so lets just see what comes..
the one thing that isnt that awesome is for example that I had my very last day in school at friday..it was a bit strange becos I had to say goodbye to all my classmates..and I realized that some of them got reli important for me..somehow I love them and its hard to know that it will never be like it was before..
At the one hand Im sooo glad that its over and on the other hand I could cry..I dont reli know what comes next..Im gonna do an internship in the church in dettingen, but I still need a place where I can work to earn some money for england..
and there r also a few things that make me sad but I dont wanna write that down here..
thats how life goes..it cant always be just good!
And through all those struggles I still know that God is with me and that he has a plan..hes in control. I trust him.
some things are good, others are not that good..
good things are that Im gonna do the worship in DOMINO with Kaddi today..and Im sure both of us will enjoy it just to give praise to the lord. Becos we learned that its not about how it sounds or that it sounds perfectly, but about our hearts. and I think we both know how to do that.
Before DOMINO we will go into town today to make some street music.
Worship God on the streets of kirchheim.
Its something different, but we wanna do what god told us what we should do last week.
And I think its gonna be good.
Yesterday we organized a breakfast for the people from the streets. it was a good experience to talk to them and stuff, and now Im very excited about christmas eve becos Im gonna go to esslingen to give food to the homeless ppl and Im lookin foreward to this.
At new years eve we r gonna be at the worship night in dettingen and we will play there.
Im reli lookin foreward to this becos I cant imagine anything that would be better than starting the new year with giving praise to the lord.
Im excited what comes in the new year, we will be at the "Neujahrsfreizeit" on the Nordalb and I expect a lot from god.
so lets just see what comes..
the one thing that isnt that awesome is for example that I had my very last day in school at friday..it was a bit strange becos I had to say goodbye to all my classmates..and I realized that some of them got reli important for me..somehow I love them and its hard to know that it will never be like it was before..
At the one hand Im sooo glad that its over and on the other hand I could cry..I dont reli know what comes next..Im gonna do an internship in the church in dettingen, but I still need a place where I can work to earn some money for england..
and there r also a few things that make me sad but I dont wanna write that down here..
thats how life goes..it cant always be just good!
And through all those struggles I still know that God is with me and that he has a plan..hes in control. I trust him.
Montag, 15. Dezember 2008
Ewigkeit!!
Ich will Ewigkeit in meinem Herzen spuern, Ewigkeit!
Ich will Ewigkeit in meinem Innern spuern, Ewigkeit in dir!
Ueberschreite die Grenzen meines kleinen Verstandes,
ich will nah bei dir bleiben, reiche dir jetzt meine hand.
Komm und zieh mich aus dem was mich gefangen haelt,
komm und loese mir die Ketten einer todgeweihten Welt.
Ich will in der Wahrheit leben, will das lieben was du gibst,
will ewigkeit!!
thats the song thats running through my mind all day..its so awesome. Its reli what I want God to do. I reli wanna live in the truth and I want God to make me free of all those things that enchain me.
Today was a strange day..at the one hand it was horrible, becos I sat in school and needed to write a business test...I didnt know anything. Before the test I just thought about runnin away and tryin one last time to learn as much as I can just to get those fckn 5 points..but I already made my decision to leave this school, and so I sat there, waitin till my teacher came with this test and it was such a horrible feeling..never ever wanna do something like that again..
after half an hour there was nothing left that I could write down becos I just didnt know anything..so I gave up and left school...actually forever becos friday will be my last day in this school forever!! somehow it hurts just to know that u didnt won that fight but..I know that God has bigger plans for me and Im sure my lifes gonna be alright!! and Im glad to finally leave this place becos I RELI RELI HATE it!!
at the other hand the day was wonderful becos I went for a walk at the sunset and the sky looked so beautiful and I thought about what Tobi said yesterday when he preached...that the sky at the sunset changes every minute and that this is just like our relationship to God is...
and I walked there and I was so amazed becos the picture I saw was breathtaking!!
everything around me was white...snow all around me..and then the sky was full of red, orange, yellow and rose but also grey and dark blue..and the grey clouds just passed by and I just stopped, stood there stunning with eyes wide open and was like "oh my god you are such a wonderful creator!!!" and when I stood there i listened to a song of samuel harfst which says "Ist es nicht wunderbar an diesem Tag zu sein? Es ist ein Privileg, erachte es nicht als klein.....denn der Herr tut heute noch Wunder, Stunde um Stunde, Tag fuer Tag..."
And I just felt like I would experience a miracle at this moment becos I was allowed to see this beautiful sky..I never felt like this before..and I had such a good prayer time and felt so good afterwards..God is such a peace giver, but he also gives strength!! WOOOW!!
And this song also reminds me evrytime I listen to it that it is such a big gift to be in this world and to be alive!!
And it reli makes me happy that God is my father and that theres nothing that could seperate me from his love. its so good to be his beloved child and I just cant tell how I feel at the moment...Im so amazed and I LOVE my GOD!!
Ich will Ewigkeit in meinem Innern spuern, Ewigkeit in dir!
Ueberschreite die Grenzen meines kleinen Verstandes,
ich will nah bei dir bleiben, reiche dir jetzt meine hand.
Komm und zieh mich aus dem was mich gefangen haelt,
komm und loese mir die Ketten einer todgeweihten Welt.
Ich will in der Wahrheit leben, will das lieben was du gibst,
will ewigkeit!!
thats the song thats running through my mind all day..its so awesome. Its reli what I want God to do. I reli wanna live in the truth and I want God to make me free of all those things that enchain me.
Today was a strange day..at the one hand it was horrible, becos I sat in school and needed to write a business test...I didnt know anything. Before the test I just thought about runnin away and tryin one last time to learn as much as I can just to get those fckn 5 points..but I already made my decision to leave this school, and so I sat there, waitin till my teacher came with this test and it was such a horrible feeling..never ever wanna do something like that again..
after half an hour there was nothing left that I could write down becos I just didnt know anything..so I gave up and left school...actually forever becos friday will be my last day in this school forever!! somehow it hurts just to know that u didnt won that fight but..I know that God has bigger plans for me and Im sure my lifes gonna be alright!! and Im glad to finally leave this place becos I RELI RELI HATE it!!
at the other hand the day was wonderful becos I went for a walk at the sunset and the sky looked so beautiful and I thought about what Tobi said yesterday when he preached...that the sky at the sunset changes every minute and that this is just like our relationship to God is...
and I walked there and I was so amazed becos the picture I saw was breathtaking!!
everything around me was white...snow all around me..and then the sky was full of red, orange, yellow and rose but also grey and dark blue..and the grey clouds just passed by and I just stopped, stood there stunning with eyes wide open and was like "oh my god you are such a wonderful creator!!!" and when I stood there i listened to a song of samuel harfst which says "Ist es nicht wunderbar an diesem Tag zu sein? Es ist ein Privileg, erachte es nicht als klein.....denn der Herr tut heute noch Wunder, Stunde um Stunde, Tag fuer Tag..."
And I just felt like I would experience a miracle at this moment becos I was allowed to see this beautiful sky..I never felt like this before..and I had such a good prayer time and felt so good afterwards..God is such a peace giver, but he also gives strength!! WOOOW!!
And this song also reminds me evrytime I listen to it that it is such a big gift to be in this world and to be alive!!
And it reli makes me happy that God is my father and that theres nothing that could seperate me from his love. its so good to be his beloved child and I just cant tell how I feel at the moment...Im so amazed and I LOVE my GOD!!
Sonntag, 14. Dezember 2008
Gods so GOOD!
its so funny..:D
I almost got crazy before we got on stage yesterday...but it was so good. it was better than I thought it would be. we reli had fun and there were no real bad faults or something.
its so funny how often we are sooo excited about something that isnt that bad at all.
I think Im on a good way to to learn and to understand that God has everything in his hands.
hes in control, thats the most important thing. becos when he is I dont have to be.
The evenin yesterday was so good.
The shows of Flo Ostertag, Stubi live band, Ceil and especially of Samuel harfst were so amazing. I just love listening to awesome music.
And today weve been to tamm to the prayer day of soul devotion.
and it also was pretty good becos we had a good prayer time and a good worship time and a good walk through beautiful little Tamm ;)
Afterwards we went to the 3D and I loved what Tobi said in his sermon..it reminded me again of the fact that God is such a peace giver. that I can get calm near him and that the relationship to him is so exciting.
when Kaddi and me were prayin we got a new vision.
Im so excited about this and it made me so happy that we both had the same stuff God told us.
on tuesday we will go to stuttgart to make some music on the streets.
lets see what happens. its something completely new for us..and Im excited what Gods gonna do there.
Im so happy because God is a good God. Hes beautiful. Hes graceful. Hes almighty. Hes in control. He is GOD. and Im his beloved child.
isnt that a reason just to be happy??
I almost got crazy before we got on stage yesterday...but it was so good. it was better than I thought it would be. we reli had fun and there were no real bad faults or something.
its so funny how often we are sooo excited about something that isnt that bad at all.
I think Im on a good way to to learn and to understand that God has everything in his hands.
hes in control, thats the most important thing. becos when he is I dont have to be.
The evenin yesterday was so good.
The shows of Flo Ostertag, Stubi live band, Ceil and especially of Samuel harfst were so amazing. I just love listening to awesome music.
And today weve been to tamm to the prayer day of soul devotion.
and it also was pretty good becos we had a good prayer time and a good worship time and a good walk through beautiful little Tamm ;)
Afterwards we went to the 3D and I loved what Tobi said in his sermon..it reminded me again of the fact that God is such a peace giver. that I can get calm near him and that the relationship to him is so exciting.
when Kaddi and me were prayin we got a new vision.
Im so excited about this and it made me so happy that we both had the same stuff God told us.
on tuesday we will go to stuttgart to make some music on the streets.
lets see what happens. its something completely new for us..and Im excited what Gods gonna do there.
Im so happy because God is a good God. Hes beautiful. Hes graceful. Hes almighty. Hes in control. He is GOD. and Im his beloved child.
isnt that a reason just to be happy??
Samstag, 13. Dezember 2008
aaah!!
this is so damn crazy..
Kaddi and me r reli playin at the christmasrock tonite..
and the more I think about the more I get a reeeeli bad feeling about it..
not becos I think we r not good enough..but becos there will be many ppl and I will be soooooo excited, who knows what Im gonna do wrong when Im excited??
huuuuh I dont wanna think about that..
I was lying awake the half night and Im not even tired.
Im tryin to do as many other things as possible to do everything but not think about this evenin..
I even watered the flowers, thats something I didnt do for 3 years^^
I see, I get crazy!! :D
actually I believe that god will make it alright..why shouldnt he? we are his children and he loves us. We just need to pray..and thats what Im gonna do..
Kaddi and me r reli playin at the christmasrock tonite..
and the more I think about the more I get a reeeeli bad feeling about it..
not becos I think we r not good enough..but becos there will be many ppl and I will be soooooo excited, who knows what Im gonna do wrong when Im excited??
huuuuh I dont wanna think about that..
I was lying awake the half night and Im not even tired.
Im tryin to do as many other things as possible to do everything but not think about this evenin..
I even watered the flowers, thats something I didnt do for 3 years^^
I see, I get crazy!! :D
actually I believe that god will make it alright..why shouldnt he? we are his children and he loves us. We just need to pray..and thats what Im gonna do..
Donnerstag, 11. Dezember 2008
mit jedem deiner fehler
Ich will nicht bei dir klingeln und ich tu es doch
ich will nicht an dich denken und ich tu es immernoch
ich will nicht von dir reden, vom singen ganz zu schweigen
ich schaem mich fast dass du dich immernoch in meine lieder schleichst
ich hab versucht mir einzureden dass du ja eigentlich gar nicht so schoen bist,
dass du bescheuert bist und nichts verstehst,
dass wir nicht fuereinander bestimmt sind
mit jedem deiner fehler,
mit jedem deiner fehler,
mit jedem deiner fehler lieb ich dich mehr!
(philipp poisel)
Weißt du was du mir bedeutest?
Auf einem Platz in meinem Herz
steht dein Name an der Wand
und ich will, dass du es erfährst
Ich werde immer an dich glauben,
egal was auch passiert
Manche singen von Liebe
Ich sang die ganze Zeit von dir
(Tomte)
yeah, its u I sang about all the time..only you..
whatever that means
und jetzt???
ich will nicht an dich denken und ich tu es immernoch
ich will nicht von dir reden, vom singen ganz zu schweigen
ich schaem mich fast dass du dich immernoch in meine lieder schleichst
ich hab versucht mir einzureden dass du ja eigentlich gar nicht so schoen bist,
dass du bescheuert bist und nichts verstehst,
dass wir nicht fuereinander bestimmt sind
mit jedem deiner fehler,
mit jedem deiner fehler,
mit jedem deiner fehler lieb ich dich mehr!
(philipp poisel)
Weißt du was du mir bedeutest?
Auf einem Platz in meinem Herz
steht dein Name an der Wand
und ich will, dass du es erfährst
Ich werde immer an dich glauben,
egal was auch passiert
Manche singen von Liebe
Ich sang die ganze Zeit von dir
(Tomte)
yeah, its u I sang about all the time..only you..
whatever that means
und jetzt???
Dienstag, 9. Dezember 2008
regrets
I think way too much these days..
I think about the past and about my regrets..about things Ive done that I better shuldnt have done. I think about the things Ive done that changed my life radically.
about the things that destroyed me and about the things that hurt me.
In the past 3 years my life changed a lot.
I even cant reli remember a lot of things in my life that happened before..
I changed a lot through this time. I did some things right and they were good. Ive been growing in these years and I reached some things I never even dreamed about.
I got to know wonderful people in these years and Im sure that a few of them God gave me becos he found it right for me to have them by my side.
But in those years I also did lots of things I wish I would never have done.
I said words I wish I never said, I made decisions which I wish I would have never made. I gave my trust and a part of me to people and I regret it. Sometimes I wish I wouldnt have been so open for some things and less curious about the stuff the world offers.
It hurts sometimes to realize that things happened in your life that arent okay..
and you cant blandish those things becos u just KNOW it wasnt good.
I have to live with these regrets, I can ask God for forgiveness and when he says Im forgiven I am. But I have to learn to forgive myself and thats the hardest part about it.
and yeah..sometimes I hate you and me for all the things we did..:(
I know Im allowed to be sad sometimes and I know its good to be becos it helps me to work through all this stuff..it hurts sometimes to admit to yourself that u did so many things wrong..I goin through this now..
If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn’t change a thing
It's made me all of who I am inside
And if I could thank god
That I am here, and that I am alive
And everyday I wake
I tell myself a little harmless lie
The whole wide world is mine
The summers gone, the years have passed,
My friends have changed, a few did last,
The smallest dreams got pushed aside,
The largest ones that changed my life,
And all I wish for was come to pass
From rock and roll, to love and cash
It’s all success if it’s what you need
Do what you like and do it honestly
If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn’t change a thing
It's made me all of who I am inside
And if I could thank god
That I am here, and that I am alive
And everyday I wake
I tell myself a little harmless lie
The whole wide world is mine
I wish I could say that I wuldnt change a thing..but I would..
I dont know if my life would have been better in some parts if I would have behaved different, but I would change some things if I could..
yeah maybe I made the DECISION to love YOU a few years ago..
and its just like I said..u cant turn your back on decisions..so what now?
was this decision forever?
I think about the past and about my regrets..about things Ive done that I better shuldnt have done. I think about the things Ive done that changed my life radically.
about the things that destroyed me and about the things that hurt me.
In the past 3 years my life changed a lot.
I even cant reli remember a lot of things in my life that happened before..
I changed a lot through this time. I did some things right and they were good. Ive been growing in these years and I reached some things I never even dreamed about.
I got to know wonderful people in these years and Im sure that a few of them God gave me becos he found it right for me to have them by my side.
But in those years I also did lots of things I wish I would never have done.
I said words I wish I never said, I made decisions which I wish I would have never made. I gave my trust and a part of me to people and I regret it. Sometimes I wish I wouldnt have been so open for some things and less curious about the stuff the world offers.
It hurts sometimes to realize that things happened in your life that arent okay..
and you cant blandish those things becos u just KNOW it wasnt good.
I have to live with these regrets, I can ask God for forgiveness and when he says Im forgiven I am. But I have to learn to forgive myself and thats the hardest part about it.
and yeah..sometimes I hate you and me for all the things we did..:(
I know Im allowed to be sad sometimes and I know its good to be becos it helps me to work through all this stuff..it hurts sometimes to admit to yourself that u did so many things wrong..I goin through this now..
If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn’t change a thing
It's made me all of who I am inside
And if I could thank god
That I am here, and that I am alive
And everyday I wake
I tell myself a little harmless lie
The whole wide world is mine
The summers gone, the years have passed,
My friends have changed, a few did last,
The smallest dreams got pushed aside,
The largest ones that changed my life,
And all I wish for was come to pass
From rock and roll, to love and cash
It’s all success if it’s what you need
Do what you like and do it honestly
If I had a chance for another try,
I wouldn’t change a thing
It's made me all of who I am inside
And if I could thank god
That I am here, and that I am alive
And everyday I wake
I tell myself a little harmless lie
The whole wide world is mine
I wish I could say that I wuldnt change a thing..but I would..
I dont know if my life would have been better in some parts if I would have behaved different, but I would change some things if I could..
yeah maybe I made the DECISION to love YOU a few years ago..
and its just like I said..u cant turn your back on decisions..so what now?
was this decision forever?
Montag, 8. Dezember 2008
your beautiful eyes
how ironic it is..
Im talkin about ur eyes all the time and now I find this song:
your beautiful eyes stare right into mine
and sometimes i think of you late at night
i don't know why
i wanna be somewhere where you are
i wanna be where...
your here, your eyes are lookin into mine
so baby, make me fly
my heart has never felt this way before
i'm lookin through your
i'm lookin through your eyes..
i wake up, i'm alive
in only a little while, i'll cry
cause your my lullaby
so baby, come hold me tight
cause i, i wanna be everything you need
i wanna be where...
your here, your eyes are lookin into mine
so baby, make me fly
my heart has never felt this way before
i'm lookin through your
i'm lookin through your eyes..
just as long as your mine
i'll be your everything tonight
let me love you, kiss you
baby, let me miss you
let me see your...
dream about, dream about your eyes
eyes, eyes, beautiful eyes...
its enough to think about ur eyes to make me feel like I wuld sit in a rollercoaster..
I suddenly cant eat even one more piece of chocolate..
I know I gave it all to God and I trust in him..I know hes gonna make it alright somehow..I just dont know what I culd do to make it a bit less ridiculous..
u must think Im so stupid...and actually u even r right with that...
but what shuld I do? Cant do anything against my feelings...so please dont say Im stupid..
Im talkin about ur eyes all the time and now I find this song:
your beautiful eyes stare right into mine
and sometimes i think of you late at night
i don't know why
i wanna be somewhere where you are
i wanna be where...
your here, your eyes are lookin into mine
so baby, make me fly
my heart has never felt this way before
i'm lookin through your
i'm lookin through your eyes..
i wake up, i'm alive
in only a little while, i'll cry
cause your my lullaby
so baby, come hold me tight
cause i, i wanna be everything you need
i wanna be where...
your here, your eyes are lookin into mine
so baby, make me fly
my heart has never felt this way before
i'm lookin through your
i'm lookin through your eyes..
just as long as your mine
i'll be your everything tonight
let me love you, kiss you
baby, let me miss you
let me see your...
dream about, dream about your eyes
eyes, eyes, beautiful eyes...
its enough to think about ur eyes to make me feel like I wuld sit in a rollercoaster..
I suddenly cant eat even one more piece of chocolate..
I know I gave it all to God and I trust in him..I know hes gonna make it alright somehow..I just dont know what I culd do to make it a bit less ridiculous..
u must think Im so stupid...and actually u even r right with that...
but what shuld I do? Cant do anything against my feelings...so please dont say Im stupid..
Freitag, 5. Dezember 2008
growin..
the more I think about what to do the more I confused I become..
Actually at the moment I think it would be best to do nothing, but becos I know I couldnt live with it I best wanna send this stupid shit I wrote per mail so it would be done and I wouldnt have to care about if I should do it or not any longer...it would be the easiest way..but for sure not the best..
today was a bad day...when I woke up this mornin my only wish was to stay in bed and sleep for another 5 hours..
I wasnt motivated becos I knew I would have school and afterwards I would have to clean the parish hall and I would come home at 3.30pm..so my half friday was full of things I didnt like to do..
the first good thing today was when I started to watch the king of narnia dvd..it saved my day..and it was also very nice to meet some cool people in dettingen at the release party of the konficamp CD..its always good to meet great people...but all in all it just wasnt my day..
and everytime when there are those days it feels like I would take at least 2 steps back..
I know I really grew in my identity in the last year..
I did steps foreward, for example I went to people and said something to them just becos God said I should do it, and I did it becos I wanted to be obedient..and in the end I always figured out it was good that I brought myself to do things I actually wouldnt have done if God wouldnt have told me..becos the reaction of those people has always been positive and I grew a lot through conversations, steps I took and all that stuff..
but Im still growing..and sometimes it can be very painful to grow...
Actually at the moment I think it would be best to do nothing, but becos I know I couldnt live with it I best wanna send this stupid shit I wrote per mail so it would be done and I wouldnt have to care about if I should do it or not any longer...it would be the easiest way..but for sure not the best..
today was a bad day...when I woke up this mornin my only wish was to stay in bed and sleep for another 5 hours..
I wasnt motivated becos I knew I would have school and afterwards I would have to clean the parish hall and I would come home at 3.30pm..so my half friday was full of things I didnt like to do..
the first good thing today was when I started to watch the king of narnia dvd..it saved my day..and it was also very nice to meet some cool people in dettingen at the release party of the konficamp CD..its always good to meet great people...but all in all it just wasnt my day..
and everytime when there are those days it feels like I would take at least 2 steps back..
I know I really grew in my identity in the last year..
I did steps foreward, for example I went to people and said something to them just becos God said I should do it, and I did it becos I wanted to be obedient..and in the end I always figured out it was good that I brought myself to do things I actually wouldnt have done if God wouldnt have told me..becos the reaction of those people has always been positive and I grew a lot through conversations, steps I took and all that stuff..
but Im still growing..and sometimes it can be very painful to grow...
Dienstag, 2. Dezember 2008
fix my eyes upon him
I reli still feel like I would soar up on the winds of love to my heavenly father..
this mornin when I drove to school I had such a good time..
everyone around me was totally goin crazy becos of a stupid test we wrote..
I didnt kno anything about the stuff we needed to learn but its a reli unimportant subject so who cares? so I sat in the car, listened to some music and just felt like I would fly in another atmosphere, knowin god was sooo there!!
that was so amazing..I was almost pissed off when I needed to get off the car to go into school to write that test..;)
At the moment it reli feels good..almost everything feels like its just okay becos I go with him, IN him.
When I just fix my eyes upon Jesus it gets easier to go every single step..becos I know hes in control..
still theres one thing where I dont know what to do..but I know that God will show me..I trust in him...and I reli wanna fix my eyes more and more on jesus..because he gives me everlasting life! HE and NOONE else!!
Im thinkin about doing an internship in a church near my town...it could be reli interesting, and if God wants me to do that Im gonna do it...Im ready to go for whatever he has for me..
becos I know he only got the best for me..and Im so glad about it..
I wanna go on soar with him on high with the winds of love...what could be better???
this mornin when I drove to school I had such a good time..
everyone around me was totally goin crazy becos of a stupid test we wrote..
I didnt kno anything about the stuff we needed to learn but its a reli unimportant subject so who cares? so I sat in the car, listened to some music and just felt like I would fly in another atmosphere, knowin god was sooo there!!
that was so amazing..I was almost pissed off when I needed to get off the car to go into school to write that test..;)
At the moment it reli feels good..almost everything feels like its just okay becos I go with him, IN him.
When I just fix my eyes upon Jesus it gets easier to go every single step..becos I know hes in control..
still theres one thing where I dont know what to do..but I know that God will show me..I trust in him...and I reli wanna fix my eyes more and more on jesus..because he gives me everlasting life! HE and NOONE else!!
Im thinkin about doing an internship in a church near my town...it could be reli interesting, and if God wants me to do that Im gonna do it...Im ready to go for whatever he has for me..
becos I know he only got the best for me..and Im so glad about it..
I wanna go on soar with him on high with the winds of love...what could be better???
Montag, 1. Dezember 2008
soar like an eagle..
Im reli amazed of how God is using me when I dont even realize it!!
today a girl told me that she gets inspired everytime she hears something of me or when we have SBK..
thats so cool to know becos I wouldnt think that ppl think in that way of me..
and the funny thing is that I reli esteem her because shes such a nice and such a lovely girl with so much love for the world around her.
I reli like her and I hope God tells me some more stuff about her so that I can encourage her!
another great thing about today is that I realized how big my fathers love must be for me..
and that he reli wants to make me free.
a few weeks ago someone gave me a picture of an eagle that is breakin the chains..hes cryin but hes flying away..that means he gets free and hes flying..
that was a prophetc picture for me, and I love it. It encourages me everytime I look at it and I believe that God will make me free from all the wrong thoughts and all the lies that are in my heart. he will make me free from the pain I experienced becos ppl treated me wrong.
he will make my soul free from sorrows and doubts.
and today someone sent me a CD they just recorded..and theres one song where God just showed me one sentence..it says "oh father, father look, my wings they fly...on the winds of love to soar with you on high."
it feels like that would be an addition to the picture.
I just had such a good resting time in gods arms backwards..it was sooo good that I almost fell asleep...Its unbelievable becos I reli didnt sleep that good the last time..but when I wake up again I felt reli fit and reli good. Just like God put some strength into my heart again so that I can go on tomorrow and the rest of the week.
Everythings pretty exhausting at the moment and I dont feel good about goin to school becos I know it will be over soon and Im pretty scared about what comes afterwards..but I know that God has a plan that is bigger than my sorrow..and I think I know what Ive got to do..its just a bit hard becos I know its not reli what my parents want me to do but..its my way, not theirs! thats something they need to learn and something I have to live with!
God is with me, he makes me strong. And Im gonna soar like an eagle..with his love under my waings..he will carry me!
today a girl told me that she gets inspired everytime she hears something of me or when we have SBK..
thats so cool to know becos I wouldnt think that ppl think in that way of me..
and the funny thing is that I reli esteem her because shes such a nice and such a lovely girl with so much love for the world around her.
I reli like her and I hope God tells me some more stuff about her so that I can encourage her!
another great thing about today is that I realized how big my fathers love must be for me..
and that he reli wants to make me free.
a few weeks ago someone gave me a picture of an eagle that is breakin the chains..hes cryin but hes flying away..that means he gets free and hes flying..
that was a prophetc picture for me, and I love it. It encourages me everytime I look at it and I believe that God will make me free from all the wrong thoughts and all the lies that are in my heart. he will make me free from the pain I experienced becos ppl treated me wrong.
he will make my soul free from sorrows and doubts.
and today someone sent me a CD they just recorded..and theres one song where God just showed me one sentence..it says "oh father, father look, my wings they fly...on the winds of love to soar with you on high."
it feels like that would be an addition to the picture.
I just had such a good resting time in gods arms backwards..it was sooo good that I almost fell asleep...Its unbelievable becos I reli didnt sleep that good the last time..but when I wake up again I felt reli fit and reli good. Just like God put some strength into my heart again so that I can go on tomorrow and the rest of the week.
Everythings pretty exhausting at the moment and I dont feel good about goin to school becos I know it will be over soon and Im pretty scared about what comes afterwards..but I know that God has a plan that is bigger than my sorrow..and I think I know what Ive got to do..its just a bit hard becos I know its not reli what my parents want me to do but..its my way, not theirs! thats something they need to learn and something I have to live with!
God is with me, he makes me strong. And Im gonna soar like an eagle..with his love under my waings..he will carry me!
Donnerstag, 27. November 2008
WE ARE CHOSEN!!
what a day!!
seems like this day was reli useful!!
Ive been to a walk with my mother this afternoon, thought this fresh air could help me to get a bit fitter becos actually Im ill atm and I do not feel healthy at all..
AND this walk was pretty good becos I had a real good conversation with my mum and i hope I could tell her a few things that are very important for me..!
in the evening I had "band practice" with kaddi..we had lots of fun, and one more time I had this wonderful feelings that it just fits perfectly when we are making music together.
Of course I dont sing every tone perfectly but thats not what its about..its about the hearts and I know that our hearts r reli similar!!
When I was younger I always wished to have a fried with whom I could make music, just to have some fun together..and thats just what I found. The best girl I know!!
Afterwards we went to our prayer-meeting.
and it was soo good!!
we had a worship and prayer time and I just reli felt that God was in the room.
I felt he was listening and enjoying our singing. he listened to our prayers and was happy about our desire to see more of him in our town and everywhere around.
Unfortunetely I had to leave the group earlier than I wanted but I reli had to go home becos actually Im ill ;)
But - and that was something I reli realized today - God RELI took everyone of us and gave him a place in our group.
Its not a fortune that we build a group, its God-wanted.
Everytime we meet I just feel that God is there and that hes happy about us..I feel hes proud of us. Its so wonderful to realize more and more that I am, that we all are daughters and sons of this almighty, beautiful, graceful GOD.
We are princes and princesses, and we are princes and princesses for a reason! Because HE CHOSE US!! he chose everyone of us to be his child!
Im readin a book about becoming that princess..about living the life as a child of a King.
Its not that easy to see urself as a princess..BUT its important.
there were two sentences I reli loved in this book:
"Es ist an der Zeit, dass wir lernen, uns so zu lieben, wie Gott uns liebt, und uns selbst mit den Augen unseres Vaters zu sehen."
"Ich kann es mir nicht leisten, anders ueber mein Leben zu denken, als Gott denkt"
there is so much truth in those words.
why do I always see my life and think its not that important as others are??
IT IS!! because GOD gave me this life, and I am calles to LIVE!!
And I am loved. Loved by this wonderful loving God, there is NO GREATER LOVE!!
I should reli start to see that I am loved and believe it..and start to love myself..not in a way of arrogance, but in a way of a healthy portion of self-confidence.
Because we have the same spirit in us withwhich jesus conquered the death.
We have the challenge to do miracles in the name of God, things that are GREATER than the things Jesus did.
HE gave us the mission to do that!
WE ARE CHOSEN brothers and sister, so lets GO and heal the sick and raise the dead ones!!
seems like this day was reli useful!!
Ive been to a walk with my mother this afternoon, thought this fresh air could help me to get a bit fitter becos actually Im ill atm and I do not feel healthy at all..
AND this walk was pretty good becos I had a real good conversation with my mum and i hope I could tell her a few things that are very important for me..!
in the evening I had "band practice" with kaddi..we had lots of fun, and one more time I had this wonderful feelings that it just fits perfectly when we are making music together.
Of course I dont sing every tone perfectly but thats not what its about..its about the hearts and I know that our hearts r reli similar!!
When I was younger I always wished to have a fried with whom I could make music, just to have some fun together..and thats just what I found. The best girl I know!!
Afterwards we went to our prayer-meeting.
and it was soo good!!
we had a worship and prayer time and I just reli felt that God was in the room.
I felt he was listening and enjoying our singing. he listened to our prayers and was happy about our desire to see more of him in our town and everywhere around.
Unfortunetely I had to leave the group earlier than I wanted but I reli had to go home becos actually Im ill ;)
But - and that was something I reli realized today - God RELI took everyone of us and gave him a place in our group.
Its not a fortune that we build a group, its God-wanted.
Everytime we meet I just feel that God is there and that hes happy about us..I feel hes proud of us. Its so wonderful to realize more and more that I am, that we all are daughters and sons of this almighty, beautiful, graceful GOD.
We are princes and princesses, and we are princes and princesses for a reason! Because HE CHOSE US!! he chose everyone of us to be his child!
Im readin a book about becoming that princess..about living the life as a child of a King.
Its not that easy to see urself as a princess..BUT its important.
there were two sentences I reli loved in this book:
"Es ist an der Zeit, dass wir lernen, uns so zu lieben, wie Gott uns liebt, und uns selbst mit den Augen unseres Vaters zu sehen."
"Ich kann es mir nicht leisten, anders ueber mein Leben zu denken, als Gott denkt"
there is so much truth in those words.
why do I always see my life and think its not that important as others are??
IT IS!! because GOD gave me this life, and I am calles to LIVE!!
And I am loved. Loved by this wonderful loving God, there is NO GREATER LOVE!!
I should reli start to see that I am loved and believe it..and start to love myself..not in a way of arrogance, but in a way of a healthy portion of self-confidence.
Because we have the same spirit in us withwhich jesus conquered the death.
We have the challenge to do miracles in the name of God, things that are GREATER than the things Jesus did.
HE gave us the mission to do that!
WE ARE CHOSEN brothers and sister, so lets GO and heal the sick and raise the dead ones!!
Mittwoch, 26. November 2008
do you know me at all??
do u know me? or do u even want to know me at all??
U see that girl whos going for whatever God has for her..
..but do u also see her strugglin to find her way in this big big world??
U see that girl whos going to the streets to tell the people that Jesus is alive and to pray for them..
..but do u also see that she has to make the decision to do something like this every day again??
U see that girl whos talkin about going to england for 10 months..
..but do u also see how much shes afraid of being somewhere far away alone??
U also see that girl whos talkin about that she wants a job to help people who are hopeless and who have nothing...
..but do u also see her how shes trying to find a job that fits and dealing with the frustration about the fact that she couldnt find one or that shes not good enough??
U see that girl whos laughing on photos because shes happy to have great people around her..
..but do u also see her sitting alone in her room, trying to make it through the day??
U see how strong she is and how good her life is..
..but do u also see the pain inside of her of all the things of the past?
maybe u see her waiting for the man who fits to her..
..but do u also see how she feels when shes standing next to you, not knowing what to say???
yeah maybe that girl even looks beautiful on the outside, she has a pretty face and a nice body...
...but do u see what her heart wants to say??
...do u see her soul??
...would u accept her with all her weakness and with the faults she has??
...would u understand when she cant find herself beautiful??
...would you support her on one of those days where she finds she is not good enough??
...would you love her just as shes trying to love you??
Im not sure if theres anyone out there who could...maybe you could be the one..
yeah maybe you could do and see all those things..because you would maybe want to...
maybe you???
U see that girl whos going for whatever God has for her..
..but do u also see her strugglin to find her way in this big big world??
U see that girl whos going to the streets to tell the people that Jesus is alive and to pray for them..
..but do u also see that she has to make the decision to do something like this every day again??
U see that girl whos talkin about going to england for 10 months..
..but do u also see how much shes afraid of being somewhere far away alone??
U also see that girl whos talkin about that she wants a job to help people who are hopeless and who have nothing...
..but do u also see her how shes trying to find a job that fits and dealing with the frustration about the fact that she couldnt find one or that shes not good enough??
U see that girl whos laughing on photos because shes happy to have great people around her..
..but do u also see her sitting alone in her room, trying to make it through the day??
U see how strong she is and how good her life is..
..but do u also see the pain inside of her of all the things of the past?
maybe u see her waiting for the man who fits to her..
..but do u also see how she feels when shes standing next to you, not knowing what to say???
yeah maybe that girl even looks beautiful on the outside, she has a pretty face and a nice body...
...but do u see what her heart wants to say??
...do u see her soul??
...would u accept her with all her weakness and with the faults she has??
...would u understand when she cant find herself beautiful??
...would you support her on one of those days where she finds she is not good enough??
...would you love her just as shes trying to love you??
Im not sure if theres anyone out there who could...maybe you could be the one..
yeah maybe you could do and see all those things..because you would maybe want to...
maybe you???
failing
sometimes this life is reli hard..
I dont know where this way leads me..
I failed in school and I failed in so many areas in my life before..
always come back to the point that Im a loser..I know I shouldnt think like that and I actually dont want to..but the thoughts are just comin..
I dont know what kind of apprenticeship I should do when i come back from england..I dont know what to do in the time from decembre till august..
I dont know how I should live alone in england..
I dont know anything at all
and I also dont know how to be honest and how to let u know what I feel
I know that sometimes honesty is the only way to get clearness..but Im afraid of honesty..
Honesty could mean I get hurt deeply..it could mean I feel mader than before..
it could mean that i have to lock my room for 2 weeks so that noone can bother me becos I couldnt bear it..
please dont hurt me..please please dont hurt me...
I dont know where this way leads me..
I failed in school and I failed in so many areas in my life before..
always come back to the point that Im a loser..I know I shouldnt think like that and I actually dont want to..but the thoughts are just comin..
I dont know what kind of apprenticeship I should do when i come back from england..I dont know what to do in the time from decembre till august..
I dont know how I should live alone in england..
I dont know anything at all
and I also dont know how to be honest and how to let u know what I feel
I know that sometimes honesty is the only way to get clearness..but Im afraid of honesty..
Honesty could mean I get hurt deeply..it could mean I feel mader than before..
it could mean that i have to lock my room for 2 weeks so that noone can bother me becos I couldnt bear it..
please dont hurt me..please please dont hurt me...
Dienstag, 25. November 2008
honesty
just figured out that being honest is what I have to do..
I just dont know how and when and Im scared about it becos I could get hurt..
dont like thoughts like that..
But if I dont say anything Im gonna go crazy..
so the only thing I can do is praying...however this will end, Im sure that God is with me..
I just dont know how and when and Im scared about it becos I could get hurt..
dont like thoughts like that..
But if I dont say anything Im gonna go crazy..
so the only thing I can do is praying...however this will end, Im sure that God is with me..
Samstag, 22. November 2008
In my dream...
In my dream we were in love,
in reality it seems like it would only be me who is...
couldnt we both just fall asleep so that I can show u what Im dreamin of?
in reality it seems like it would only be me who is...
couldnt we both just fall asleep so that I can show u what Im dreamin of?
you and you and you..
I walked away and never said that I wanted to see u again
maybe thats the freakin problem..Im too shy to tell u that I would want to see u again..before u leave..and that Id love to spent as much time as possible with u..
and if I would be an asshole Id wish and pray that they dont take u (away from me)...
but Im not and so I pray that u can just go..
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
actually nothing at all will change becos its not like I would see u that often..so who cares?
I do! I pray that God just opens your eyes, so that u can see me and that u can see who I am.
I pray that u see what I want from u..
If I would know that its worth it I wont care and I would be foolish..but I dont know if its worth it and I rather think its not..so I waste minute after minute, watchin, waiting, hoping, praying..
Im sorry that I like u more than I probably should!!
maybe thats the freakin problem..Im too shy to tell u that I would want to see u again..before u leave..and that Id love to spent as much time as possible with u..
and if I would be an asshole Id wish and pray that they dont take u (away from me)...
but Im not and so I pray that u can just go..
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
actually nothing at all will change becos its not like I would see u that often..so who cares?
I do! I pray that God just opens your eyes, so that u can see me and that u can see who I am.
I pray that u see what I want from u..
I don't want another pretty facebut unfortunetely I waste one minute after another becos theres nothing I could do but foolish stuff and I dont always wanna be foolish..
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
If I would know that its worth it I wont care and I would be foolish..but I dont know if its worth it and I rather think its not..so I waste minute after minute, watchin, waiting, hoping, praying..
Im sorry that I like u more than I probably should!!
Donnerstag, 20. November 2008
in your arms..
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
aaaah..Im goin crazy someday..
should I sit watch and wait until I get old and grey?? how stupid is this...
but being honest is way too hard...becos that much more stupid...just ask myself what I should do..
I shuld concentrate on learning now but theres no way..my thoughts are just spinning..
and my time is running too..how stupid is this...its all so stupid!!
thats just how I feel..just another one whos blinded by your smile..Im sure that there are thousands of others who are more beautiful, more smart, more kind, have more self-confidence and stuff...
but theres one thing I could do: I could love u..more than everyone of them could..
I would take the stars from the sky just to give them to u..
I would write a song for you, or maybe even a thousand..
I just miss you...cant u see that??
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
aaaah..Im goin crazy someday..
should I sit watch and wait until I get old and grey?? how stupid is this...
but being honest is way too hard...becos that much more stupid...just ask myself what I should do..
I shuld concentrate on learning now but theres no way..my thoughts are just spinning..
and my time is running too..how stupid is this...its all so stupid!!
I'll keep going on
As just another one
With another song
Who wants to be the only one for you
Just another guy
Blinded by your smile
Just a lonely heart
Can't stand this aching feeling we're apart, apart
Let me sleep in your arms
Let me breathe this clean bright light surrounding you
I will not pretend
That I'm just a friend
My deliverance
Will you think about me every now and then
When I call again
Let me sleep in your arms
Let me breathe this clean bright lights surrounding you
Let me dream in your arms
Let me breathe this clean bright lights surrounding you
thats just how I feel..just another one whos blinded by your smile..Im sure that there are thousands of others who are more beautiful, more smart, more kind, have more self-confidence and stuff...
but theres one thing I could do: I could love u..more than everyone of them could..
I would take the stars from the sky just to give them to u..
I would write a song for you, or maybe even a thousand..
I just miss you...cant u see that??
Dienstag, 18. November 2008
wonderin what happened??
I feel my heartbeat...and its louder than before..
my stomach is full...eventhough I didnt eat anything
Im awake and totally crazy...but I almost had no sleep
Im thinkin all the time...but there is no thought I finish
Im tryin to go on...but I wanna turn back time
I close my eyes..but theres nothing but u!
I shouldntlove fall for you but I want to..
..Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
-something changed-
my stomach is full...eventhough I didnt eat anything
Im awake and totally crazy...but I almost had no sleep
Im thinkin all the time...but there is no thought I finish
Im tryin to go on...but I wanna turn back time
I close my eyes..but theres nothing but u!
I shouldnt
..Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
-something changed-
Montag, 17. November 2008
enjoying life
so many things are happenin atm, I dont even have time to write it down here..
on friday I had a good evening for myself, just a bit chill-out time and hangin around doing nothing...that was good after all this stress..
on saturday Ive been to Goeppingen to listen to sandro baggio, a guy from sao paolo who told something about his church and about the stuff God did there..it was motivating to hear those storys..afterwards Ive been to a birthday which was great fun.
On sunday we had band practice and we had so much fun!!
those guys r reli great and they dont care about when I do not do all the stuff perfectly..
I just love the hours we spend there becos we have a greeat time.
In the evening Kaddi and I drove to Tamm, and I reeeli enjoyed the service there...
They talked about Jesus christ who died for everyone of us, which is a topic I already know of course, but I still think that u cant hear enough about it becos its such a great love and such a grace God offered us through this..
and after the service we talked to some uys we do not see that often and it was just a good time!! I reli enjoyed being there and I love to go to different places and hear different stuff about god so I couldnt imagine any place that wuld have been better for me yesterday!!
Im so thankful for this weekend and I think those are the times Ill love to remember when I look back in a few years!
but this night was pretty strange..
first of all I went to bed pretty late becos I arrived at home at abou 11.45 pm.
and through the night I woke up at least 3 times or something...and one time I woke up and didnt know where I am..reli scary!!
nevertheless lifes great atm...I enjoy it becos I know God has everything in his hands...even if its hard to wait sometimes...
on friday I had a good evening for myself, just a bit chill-out time and hangin around doing nothing...that was good after all this stress..
on saturday Ive been to Goeppingen to listen to sandro baggio, a guy from sao paolo who told something about his church and about the stuff God did there..it was motivating to hear those storys..afterwards Ive been to a birthday which was great fun.
On sunday we had band practice and we had so much fun!!
those guys r reli great and they dont care about when I do not do all the stuff perfectly..
I just love the hours we spend there becos we have a greeat time.
In the evening Kaddi and I drove to Tamm, and I reeeli enjoyed the service there...
They talked about Jesus christ who died for everyone of us, which is a topic I already know of course, but I still think that u cant hear enough about it becos its such a great love and such a grace God offered us through this..
and after the service we talked to some uys we do not see that often and it was just a good time!! I reli enjoyed being there and I love to go to different places and hear different stuff about god so I couldnt imagine any place that wuld have been better for me yesterday!!
Im so thankful for this weekend and I think those are the times Ill love to remember when I look back in a few years!
but this night was pretty strange..
first of all I went to bed pretty late becos I arrived at home at abou 11.45 pm.
and through the night I woke up at least 3 times or something...and one time I woke up and didnt know where I am..reli scary!!
nevertheless lifes great atm...I enjoy it becos I know God has everything in his hands...even if its hard to wait sometimes...
Donnerstag, 13. November 2008
its possible!!!
"Its possible!"
THIS SENTENCE MADE MY DAY!!!
okay my day was awesome anyway becos I went shopping in stuttgart with Kaddi and I finally found some stuff I needed.
afterwards weve been to a prophetic evening in kirchheim and we practiced this prophetic stuff a bit...and that was pretty cool...I never practised it that way...but it was a reli good experience.
afterwards two ppl prayed for me and they said some reli great things.
They said that I will have to get a peace into my heart and that this peace will come and with this peace will come calmness..and through this calmness God will show me my way.
They said God already talked to me but through all the stuff around me I culdnt hear and see clearly what HE told and what the world is telling. But with the peace and the calmness all the things the world is telling are slowly fading away and the things God is telling me will become more clear. And Im reli sure that this is right!!!
and they asked if I stood with a question before God...they culdnt know that, I didnt say anything about that..but the answer is "its possible!"
I have to figure it out but.....thats crazy and awesome stuff people!!!
THIS SENTENCE MADE MY DAY!!!
okay my day was awesome anyway becos I went shopping in stuttgart with Kaddi and I finally found some stuff I needed.
afterwards weve been to a prophetic evening in kirchheim and we practiced this prophetic stuff a bit...and that was pretty cool...I never practised it that way...but it was a reli good experience.
afterwards two ppl prayed for me and they said some reli great things.
They said that I will have to get a peace into my heart and that this peace will come and with this peace will come calmness..and through this calmness God will show me my way.
They said God already talked to me but through all the stuff around me I culdnt hear and see clearly what HE told and what the world is telling. But with the peace and the calmness all the things the world is telling are slowly fading away and the things God is telling me will become more clear. And Im reli sure that this is right!!!
and they asked if I stood with a question before God...they culdnt know that, I didnt say anything about that..but the answer is "its possible!"
I have to figure it out but.....thats crazy and awesome stuff people!!!
Mittwoch, 12. November 2008
there is NO greater love
THATS just the way jesus is!!
my day today was pretty boring till the evening...becos then I went to kirchheim to our "more of god-meeting"..and when i sat in the bus I felt such a joy comin up, I dont even know why, i guess its reli because my heart is full of joy becos Jesus is in my heart.
The meeting was reli cool, I felt God in the room, we prayed for kirchheim, for the people, for ourselves, for more of God in our lives and everywhere. And I just had a picture of a big wave coming over a town (i guess it was kirchheim) and of some kind of fog that just covered the whole city. And Im sure that the holy spirit was meant with the fog and the wave.
And it was just like God reli wanted to tell me that his holy spirit will come and fill up and cover our whole city! but that he would come when the time is right.
I dont know when it will happen but Im so EXCITED about that. I RELI am!!
after the meeting I just didnt felt like goin home now and learnin some spanish stuff (I actually reli should do that^^), so I just went for a walk..and I had such a good prayer time, and I was very surprised about the fact that it was about 9.30 pm but the way I was walking on seemed to be so bright 8there were no streetlights). So I looked up to the sky and I saw the clear fullmoon, shining over me. And eventhough there were many clouds the moon just shone through, just as if the clouds didnt even exist. and thats what God told me: "Look at this wonderful moon..do u see the light shine? although there are so many clouds. Can u see that its the same with my light in your life?? My light is shining in your life ALL the time!! u just have to open your eyes and fix them upon me, so that my light will shine through and over everything that seems to make your life less beautiful!"
One more time I reli decided to give my life more and more to Jesus! and heres a song I found that just fits because my God is the only one who deserves...
What is this love given to us
That saved my life through selfless sacrifice
Although we fail the cross prevails
Forgiveness stands
You take me back again
You’ve shown me life
You’ve opened my eyes
So I give You my praise
Yeah I give You my all
You’ve shown me life
You’ve opened my eyes
To the truth that there’s no greater love
Now in the darkness God’s light shines
Christ forever glorified
So come on come on sing out to God
Now with all we’ve got
We live for You our God
Salvation’s strong in Christ alone
The Saviour King alone in victory
I step aside give You my life
For You to move do what You want to do
I can’t imagine a life without You without You
‘Cause it’s all for You
Yeah it’s all for You
God
(Hillsongs - You deserve)
my day today was pretty boring till the evening...becos then I went to kirchheim to our "more of god-meeting"..and when i sat in the bus I felt such a joy comin up, I dont even know why, i guess its reli because my heart is full of joy becos Jesus is in my heart.
The meeting was reli cool, I felt God in the room, we prayed for kirchheim, for the people, for ourselves, for more of God in our lives and everywhere. And I just had a picture of a big wave coming over a town (i guess it was kirchheim) and of some kind of fog that just covered the whole city. And Im sure that the holy spirit was meant with the fog and the wave.
And it was just like God reli wanted to tell me that his holy spirit will come and fill up and cover our whole city! but that he would come when the time is right.
I dont know when it will happen but Im so EXCITED about that. I RELI am!!
after the meeting I just didnt felt like goin home now and learnin some spanish stuff (I actually reli should do that^^), so I just went for a walk..and I had such a good prayer time, and I was very surprised about the fact that it was about 9.30 pm but the way I was walking on seemed to be so bright 8there were no streetlights). So I looked up to the sky and I saw the clear fullmoon, shining over me. And eventhough there were many clouds the moon just shone through, just as if the clouds didnt even exist. and thats what God told me: "Look at this wonderful moon..do u see the light shine? although there are so many clouds. Can u see that its the same with my light in your life?? My light is shining in your life ALL the time!! u just have to open your eyes and fix them upon me, so that my light will shine through and over everything that seems to make your life less beautiful!"
One more time I reli decided to give my life more and more to Jesus! and heres a song I found that just fits because my God is the only one who deserves...
What is this love given to us
That saved my life through selfless sacrifice
Although we fail the cross prevails
Forgiveness stands
You take me back again
You’ve shown me life
You’ve opened my eyes
So I give You my praise
Yeah I give You my all
You’ve shown me life
You’ve opened my eyes
To the truth that there’s no greater love
Now in the darkness God’s light shines
Christ forever glorified
So come on come on sing out to God
Now with all we’ve got
We live for You our God
Salvation’s strong in Christ alone
The Saviour King alone in victory
I step aside give You my life
For You to move do what You want to do
I can’t imagine a life without You without You
‘Cause it’s all for You
Yeah it’s all for You
God
(Hillsongs - You deserve)
think of u..
but I think of you
whenever life gets me down
I think of you
whenever you´re not around
you rest your bones
somewhere far from my own
sometimes life is so funny..reli!!
Im hardly trying to figure out which way to go but somehow Im wasting my time..
wasting my time with watching stupid series, lookin at pictures I shudnt look on, listening to music that keeps me dreamin..
its so wrong...
but what can I do?? I culd behave completely foolish, I could tell the world so that everyone wuld hear what i gotta say..I culd just be honest...
but u know what? thats pretty embarassing sometimes...yeah reeeeli!!
so I just stay calm. eventhough I hate stayin calm, waitin, doing nothing...
instead of talkin Im writin stupid letters that noone will ever read and noone wuld ever understand.
thats sometimes the way life goes...funny isnt it?? yeah I also do not understand it..
yesterday Ive been to a worship evening and it was sooo good! I just felt gods love and it was like he took all the weight from my heart and made it as light as it hasnt been for weeks..
and God showed me how I stood on a mountain somewhere in israel..it was just like he said "hey dont care..u ll get there someday!!"...how wonderful my God is!!
afterwards weve been to a birthday in the hemmingways and its always nice meeting people and talk a bit about life and stuff :)
Im just waiting what comes next!
whenever life gets me down
I think of you
whenever you´re not around
you rest your bones
somewhere far from my own
sometimes life is so funny..reli!!
Im hardly trying to figure out which way to go but somehow Im wasting my time..
wasting my time with watching stupid series, lookin at pictures I shudnt look on, listening to music that keeps me dreamin..
its so wrong...
but what can I do?? I culd behave completely foolish, I could tell the world so that everyone wuld hear what i gotta say..I culd just be honest...
but u know what? thats pretty embarassing sometimes...yeah reeeeli!!
so I just stay calm. eventhough I hate stayin calm, waitin, doing nothing...
instead of talkin Im writin stupid letters that noone will ever read and noone wuld ever understand.
thats sometimes the way life goes...funny isnt it?? yeah I also do not understand it..
yesterday Ive been to a worship evening and it was sooo good! I just felt gods love and it was like he took all the weight from my heart and made it as light as it hasnt been for weeks..
and God showed me how I stood on a mountain somewhere in israel..it was just like he said "hey dont care..u ll get there someday!!"...how wonderful my God is!!
afterwards weve been to a birthday in the hemmingways and its always nice meeting people and talk a bit about life and stuff :)
Im just waiting what comes next!
Dienstag, 11. November 2008
not good enough
I wish I culd make u see how much it hurts to hear all the stuff u tell me day by day..
u wont ever tell me u r proud of me, and slowly I reli start to believe that u easily just arent proud..not even a bit.
it hurts to see that u wish u would have a daughter whos not like me..
I see no way how we could ever be alright..I see no way how I culd ever get happy here..as long as u tell me that everything I do isnt right..its just simply not good enough.
I AM not good enough..and I never will be for u!
seems like i wuld have to walk this life alone..without ur support..thats the way life goes..
u wont ever tell me u r proud of me, and slowly I reli start to believe that u easily just arent proud..not even a bit.
it hurts to see that u wish u would have a daughter whos not like me..
I see no way how we could ever be alright..I see no way how I culd ever get happy here..as long as u tell me that everything I do isnt right..its just simply not good enough.
I AM not good enough..and I never will be for u!
seems like i wuld have to walk this life alone..without ur support..thats the way life goes..
Samstag, 8. November 2008
Im confused about this world..its weird.
everythings so crazy...feels like theres almost noone who understands..
and those ppl who should becos we share the same blood are the last who would understand.
Its always me who does everything wrong..my behaviour is always worse..its always me, just like its always been...thats SO exhausting, can u believe that?? SO EXHAUSTING!!
Id so love to leave right now..atm I see NO reason to stay here...not one..the person I love most is leaving, so theres reli noone at all who understands, school will be over soon (im pretty sure), theres always fighting and arguing here...why am I here?
I need some time out..cos I freak out here..Im goin crazy!
everythings so crazy...feels like theres almost noone who understands..
and those ppl who should becos we share the same blood are the last who would understand.
Its always me who does everything wrong..my behaviour is always worse..its always me, just like its always been...thats SO exhausting, can u believe that?? SO EXHAUSTING!!
Id so love to leave right now..atm I see NO reason to stay here...not one..the person I love most is leaving, so theres reli noone at all who understands, school will be over soon (im pretty sure), theres always fighting and arguing here...why am I here?
I need some time out..cos I freak out here..Im goin crazy!
Dienstag, 4. November 2008
Gods teaching me
its so good to know and also to feel that God has everything in his hands!!
lots of stuff is happening in my life atm..for example when I walked to dettingen to the "insel-godi" at sunday I just talked with god for a while..and it just felt like I could say from my heart that if he wants me to stay alone all life I would do it for him. so I told him.
and it wasnt like its always been that I felt like "mmmh...I dont wanna be alone..." afterwards..it was good. easily good.
the worship in the service was pretty cool. at the beginning I didnt reli came to God..something held me back..I dont know..but as time went by I was reli ready to stand up and to worship the lord..and it reli felt like I would stand at his throne and it felt like he was smiling..
there was a time when everybody could sind out what was on his heart..its reli not my kind of behaviour that I just sing and sind what I feel and what I want to tell God. But I just did..I sang what was on my heart..no matter what the ppl thought or how it sounded..and thats the point I wanna reach when I do worship..and I know it will take some time to get to that point..but Im gonna take the time becos Jesus gives me some time to get better.
it was soo good!!
Yesterday I had a long and exhausting day..had school until 5 pm and then had to go to the theatre at 6.30pm and came back home at 12pm..between school and theatre I took a lil time out to have at least a short time with god..I would have loved to have some more but unfortunetely it wasnt possible..but even in this 30 minutes God spoke to me..I listened to some music and there was a song where the lyrics are "Im made to live, Im made to love, Im made to know you!"
And it was just like God told me with this: No longer care about relationships..YOU ARE MADE TO LOVE! but its in my hands and in my time WHEN u will love someone again..
and he gave me the picture of an eagle that flew higher and higher..kaddi had a pic of an eagle in summer for me too..I dont exactly know what it means but it felt a bit like God wanted to show me that this picture belongs to a prophecy I got in summer too where someone said "someone is here who just ended up a relationship..it was very hard and it still is and you are hurt..but it will be better in time and God will give you new strength and new love and you´re gonna be perfectly prepared for a new relationship"...the more I think about it the more I KNOW that it was for me..and as it seems this picture belongs to that prophecy..
Dont know exactly what it means..but Im excited to find out!!
Im so thankful that God does such amazing things in my life..hes teaching me..every and every day!! could I have a better teacher? NO!!
lots of stuff is happening in my life atm..for example when I walked to dettingen to the "insel-godi" at sunday I just talked with god for a while..and it just felt like I could say from my heart that if he wants me to stay alone all life I would do it for him. so I told him.
and it wasnt like its always been that I felt like "mmmh...I dont wanna be alone..." afterwards..it was good. easily good.
the worship in the service was pretty cool. at the beginning I didnt reli came to God..something held me back..I dont know..but as time went by I was reli ready to stand up and to worship the lord..and it reli felt like I would stand at his throne and it felt like he was smiling..
there was a time when everybody could sind out what was on his heart..its reli not my kind of behaviour that I just sing and sind what I feel and what I want to tell God. But I just did..I sang what was on my heart..no matter what the ppl thought or how it sounded..and thats the point I wanna reach when I do worship..and I know it will take some time to get to that point..but Im gonna take the time becos Jesus gives me some time to get better.
it was soo good!!
Yesterday I had a long and exhausting day..had school until 5 pm and then had to go to the theatre at 6.30pm and came back home at 12pm..between school and theatre I took a lil time out to have at least a short time with god..I would have loved to have some more but unfortunetely it wasnt possible..but even in this 30 minutes God spoke to me..I listened to some music and there was a song where the lyrics are "Im made to live, Im made to love, Im made to know you!"
And it was just like God told me with this: No longer care about relationships..YOU ARE MADE TO LOVE! but its in my hands and in my time WHEN u will love someone again..
and he gave me the picture of an eagle that flew higher and higher..kaddi had a pic of an eagle in summer for me too..I dont exactly know what it means but it felt a bit like God wanted to show me that this picture belongs to a prophecy I got in summer too where someone said "someone is here who just ended up a relationship..it was very hard and it still is and you are hurt..but it will be better in time and God will give you new strength and new love and you´re gonna be perfectly prepared for a new relationship"...the more I think about it the more I KNOW that it was for me..and as it seems this picture belongs to that prophecy..
Dont know exactly what it means..but Im excited to find out!!
Im so thankful that God does such amazing things in my life..hes teaching me..every and every day!! could I have a better teacher? NO!!
Sonntag, 2. November 2008
I surrender...
when I got to bed yesterday it just felt like there were things I havent said to God yet but things that need to be said! So I laid there and reflected the things that went through my head this evening.
and then I knew what it was..its about having a partner and stuff...I hate being alone, thats a fact. and I would wish to have someone I can share life with..someone with whom Ill stay together for the rest of my life, someone Im gonna marry...
David Pierce asked a question yesterday: would you be willing to live without a partner your whole life?
sometimes when I hear thjings like that I think "yeah of course, for God I would do everything"..but when Im honest and when I look into my heart I know that I couldnt say with all my heart that Im willing to do this. I wouldnt be able to pray "Jesus if u want me to live without a partner my whole life I would do it". Because I know that I wouldnt be honest...maybe a part of meould mean it but the other part is too afraid...becos I know that God hears my prayers and that what I pray could come true..and Im scared to to be alone my whole life..to me it seems like a nightmare..
but I know that I fix way too much of all the stuff with love and partner..and so I just gave it to jesus. I just gave it into his hands, I surrendered. I said that it wouldnt be honest to pray the sentence I wrote before but that I want it to be in his hands what happens next..
then I fell asleep..
when I woke up today I still got the feeling theres something I need to tell him..so I gave up on safety and I gave up ma lack of trust..I prayed that his will be done and that I wanna give into his hands what happens in the future, concerning job, bible school, england, actually easily EVERYTHING! its in his hands and I feel better now...
when I listened to this David yesterday I realized that there are still LOTS of things I need to learn..about my life and Jesus..this guy would do whatever God wants from him..everything..he lived in a one-room-flat with his wife and they worked low paid jobs...although both of them have been to the university...he did it for god and he did lots of more stuf..I want that too.
I wanna go after whatever god has for me, even if it isnt what Im dreamin about..I know he has only the best for me!
I dont like the worship thing that I wrote about a post before..becos I know that a part of all this is, that its about attention that people give me..and I know this is wrong. I know its wrong to do the worship and to feel better when ppl tell me afterwards that it was good..
so its the only right decision to let it be till God tells me Im allowed to do it again..
tomorrow school starts again..and the thought about it ruins my day..I dont wanna go there I hate it...I see..hard times are coming but Im gonna fight them cos Jesus is with me and I surrendered and its everything in his hands...everything!
and then I knew what it was..its about having a partner and stuff...I hate being alone, thats a fact. and I would wish to have someone I can share life with..someone with whom Ill stay together for the rest of my life, someone Im gonna marry...
David Pierce asked a question yesterday: would you be willing to live without a partner your whole life?
sometimes when I hear thjings like that I think "yeah of course, for God I would do everything"..but when Im honest and when I look into my heart I know that I couldnt say with all my heart that Im willing to do this. I wouldnt be able to pray "Jesus if u want me to live without a partner my whole life I would do it". Because I know that I wouldnt be honest...maybe a part of meould mean it but the other part is too afraid...becos I know that God hears my prayers and that what I pray could come true..and Im scared to to be alone my whole life..to me it seems like a nightmare..
but I know that I fix way too much of all the stuff with love and partner..and so I just gave it to jesus. I just gave it into his hands, I surrendered. I said that it wouldnt be honest to pray the sentence I wrote before but that I want it to be in his hands what happens next..
then I fell asleep..
when I woke up today I still got the feeling theres something I need to tell him..so I gave up on safety and I gave up ma lack of trust..I prayed that his will be done and that I wanna give into his hands what happens in the future, concerning job, bible school, england, actually easily EVERYTHING! its in his hands and I feel better now...
when I listened to this David yesterday I realized that there are still LOTS of things I need to learn..about my life and Jesus..this guy would do whatever God wants from him..everything..he lived in a one-room-flat with his wife and they worked low paid jobs...although both of them have been to the university...he did it for god and he did lots of more stuf..I want that too.
I wanna go after whatever god has for me, even if it isnt what Im dreamin about..I know he has only the best for me!
I dont like the worship thing that I wrote about a post before..becos I know that a part of all this is, that its about attention that people give me..and I know this is wrong. I know its wrong to do the worship and to feel better when ppl tell me afterwards that it was good..
so its the only right decision to let it be till God tells me Im allowed to do it again..
tomorrow school starts again..and the thought about it ruins my day..I dont wanna go there I hate it...I see..hard times are coming but Im gonna fight them cos Jesus is with me and I surrendered and its everything in his hands...everything!
Samstag, 1. November 2008
decisions
seems like today has been the decision-day....And I really hope that I made decisions I can keep..
today in the service while we did the worship I heard God talkin to me..
I didnt like what he said at all..but I know hes right!
he said "Lizzy...as long as you cant let yourself fall and give your heart fully to me when u worship me, you shouldnt lead or do the worship in ANY service.."
I did that quite a lot the last time..since the summer holidays I sang or played in every domino service..I played at the beat and I played in my youth-group...and the more I became the leader, the more I realized I didnt do it with all my heart..
I almost couldnt come down...thats pretty hard...so I decided to be obedient. I wont do worship in service in front of the crowd...only between all the people..becos I wanna come back to the heart of worship..where I dont care where I stand, how I look like or if my singing is perfect.
I wanna give my heart completely to God when I worship him. And I dont wanna say that I didnt gave my heart the last few weeks when I did worship..but I didnt gave it completely..
I wanna be honest...honest to God, honest to myself and honest to my community..so it will be the right way..
I also realized that there are many things that hold me back. Hold me back to reli GO the way God has for me.
So I wanna get rid of a few things...for example safety..the longing to have a partner (God knows what hes doing)...lack of trust (Im just too scared sometimes)...and I guess there are lots of more things...I dont even wanna give a tiny part of myself to the devil...becos hes manupulating...And I also know that the devil only hassomething tpo manipulate when I give him something..thats the point. so I dont wanna give him any part of me becos I BELONG TO JESUS!!!
and theres one sentence david pierce said that evening: Jesus is SO powerful!!!!
Against Jesus the devil is only a TINY mouse that cant do ANYTHING!!
so Im safe...so I dont have to fear anything or have to worry about anything..IM SAFE!
today in the service while we did the worship I heard God talkin to me..
I didnt like what he said at all..but I know hes right!
he said "Lizzy...as long as you cant let yourself fall and give your heart fully to me when u worship me, you shouldnt lead or do the worship in ANY service.."
I did that quite a lot the last time..since the summer holidays I sang or played in every domino service..I played at the beat and I played in my youth-group...and the more I became the leader, the more I realized I didnt do it with all my heart..
I almost couldnt come down...thats pretty hard...so I decided to be obedient. I wont do worship in service in front of the crowd...only between all the people..becos I wanna come back to the heart of worship..where I dont care where I stand, how I look like or if my singing is perfect.
I wanna give my heart completely to God when I worship him. And I dont wanna say that I didnt gave my heart the last few weeks when I did worship..but I didnt gave it completely..
I wanna be honest...honest to God, honest to myself and honest to my community..so it will be the right way..
I also realized that there are many things that hold me back. Hold me back to reli GO the way God has for me.
So I wanna get rid of a few things...for example safety..the longing to have a partner (God knows what hes doing)...lack of trust (Im just too scared sometimes)...and I guess there are lots of more things...I dont even wanna give a tiny part of myself to the devil...becos hes manupulating...And I also know that the devil only hassomething tpo manipulate when I give him something..thats the point. so I dont wanna give him any part of me becos I BELONG TO JESUS!!!
and theres one sentence david pierce said that evening: Jesus is SO powerful!!!!
Against Jesus the devil is only a TINY mouse that cant do ANYTHING!!
so Im safe...so I dont have to fear anything or have to worry about anything..IM SAFE!
Your PERFECT LOVE Jesus
I wanna see the broken hearts
finding hope in God above
I wanna know I’m doing all I can
So with this life, with all I am
No matter what the cost may be
I pray to see your love become our cause
I won’t stop believing
You alone are, You alone are God
In You there's freedom
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for you now
This perfect love, I can't explain
This way of life that has no end
Your mercy satisfies, it's all I need
My purpose found in You alone
to love the lost and bring them home
We were made to glorify our king
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for you
May your love become my every thought
I wanna know the sound of your heart
I wanna live for you now
Sing You, you bring me life
You bring me hope
You're all I need
when I found this song today I was totally touched..
becos thats what Im dreaming about...Im dreaming about people who have a broken heart and who are hopeless who find hope in God.
and I know that HE is GOD and that HE ist the ONLY GOD I wanna sing to, I wnna pray to and I wanna live with!
I never had so much freedom in my life than I have since I have God in my life.
And I could start to tell of my fathers perfect love but I wouldnt come to any end and I also wouldnt find the right words to explain how wonderful and perfect it is.
so only one thing: Jesus, thank you for your perfect LOVE!!
finding hope in God above
I wanna know I’m doing all I can
So with this life, with all I am
No matter what the cost may be
I pray to see your love become our cause
I won’t stop believing
You alone are, You alone are God
In You there's freedom
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for you now
This perfect love, I can't explain
This way of life that has no end
Your mercy satisfies, it's all I need
My purpose found in You alone
to love the lost and bring them home
We were made to glorify our king
Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for you
May your love become my every thought
I wanna know the sound of your heart
I wanna live for you now
Sing You, you bring me life
You bring me hope
You're all I need
when I found this song today I was totally touched..
becos thats what Im dreaming about...Im dreaming about people who have a broken heart and who are hopeless who find hope in God.
and I know that HE is GOD and that HE ist the ONLY GOD I wanna sing to, I wnna pray to and I wanna live with!
I never had so much freedom in my life than I have since I have God in my life.
And I could start to tell of my fathers perfect love but I wouldnt come to any end and I also wouldnt find the right words to explain how wonderful and perfect it is.
so only one thing: Jesus, thank you for your perfect LOVE!!
Freitag, 31. Oktober 2008
Whom shall I fear?
I will seek You Lord
While I am in my youth.
I will serve You Lord,
And I'll proclaim Your truth.
For You've searched and found me
While I was far away.
And in my troubled times
You've always kept me safe.
The Lord is my Light
and my Salvation
Whom Shall I Fear?
Whom Shall I Fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life
Whom Shall I Fear?
Whom Shall I Fear?
yeah, the Lord is my saviour, the lord is my light and my salvation!
sometimes I reli ask myself what I fear in this world??
theres nothing that could bring me down becos I have Jesus..and I wont fall deeper than into his loving hand! Im so safe in his arms...Im so safe no matter what comes my way.
Im so thankful for this unconditional love he has for me!! Im full of joy becos of my Lord. Im full of joy becos of his love and mercy, because hes almighty, becos I conquered the death, he conquered the devil. Hes holy, hes glorious, lets give him praise and honor!!
While I am in my youth.
I will serve You Lord,
And I'll proclaim Your truth.
For You've searched and found me
While I was far away.
And in my troubled times
You've always kept me safe.
The Lord is my Light
and my Salvation
Whom Shall I Fear?
Whom Shall I Fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life
Whom Shall I Fear?
Whom Shall I Fear?
yeah, the Lord is my saviour, the lord is my light and my salvation!
sometimes I reli ask myself what I fear in this world??
theres nothing that could bring me down becos I have Jesus..and I wont fall deeper than into his loving hand! Im so safe in his arms...Im so safe no matter what comes my way.
Im so thankful for this unconditional love he has for me!! Im full of joy becos of my Lord. Im full of joy becos of his love and mercy, because hes almighty, becos I conquered the death, he conquered the devil. Hes holy, hes glorious, lets give him praise and honor!!
Donnerstag, 30. Oktober 2008
someone like...you?
I would love to share my life with someone..
someone who loves me and someone I love with all my heart.
Id love to go out to the streets with someone to tell the world that jesus lives and to pray for the sick and the hopeless.
Id love to have someone I could go to a worship-night with, and to know that he enjoys the same ways as I do.
Id love to have someone I can walk over fields and meadows with..someone who loves to have a walk, just like I do.
Id love to have someone I could just hang around with in my room, having good conversations, fun or maybe a good soaking time..
I would love to have someone with whom I could sit by the fireside and with whom I could drink some hot chocolate when its cold, snowing and freezing outside..
Id love to have someone with whom I could watch the lion king or some other old films that are so much better than all the new stuff thats out now..
Id just love to have someone to share life, thoughts, desires and love!
Of course I can do all this stuff alone or with friends..it can also be good...but its something reli different!
life isnt easier when u have a partner..but its so good not to be alone..
someone who loves me and someone I love with all my heart.
Id love to go out to the streets with someone to tell the world that jesus lives and to pray for the sick and the hopeless.
Id love to have someone I could go to a worship-night with, and to know that he enjoys the same ways as I do.
Id love to have someone I can walk over fields and meadows with..someone who loves to have a walk, just like I do.
Id love to have someone I could just hang around with in my room, having good conversations, fun or maybe a good soaking time..
I would love to have someone with whom I could sit by the fireside and with whom I could drink some hot chocolate when its cold, snowing and freezing outside..
Id love to have someone with whom I could watch the lion king or some other old films that are so much better than all the new stuff thats out now..
Id just love to have someone to share life, thoughts, desires and love!
Of course I can do all this stuff alone or with friends..it can also be good...but its something reli different!
life isnt easier when u have a partner..but its so good not to be alone..
trust and ppl
its just so typical..I guess u reli didnt change at all..
I thought I could trust u, and that ur not the same u were before..but hey..she?? she of all ppl?? I reli thought u would have more taste...whatever..its ur life!!
Its just one more evidence that I shouldnt trust ppl that much...or that I shouldnt turn away from my requirements..becos Jesus made me the way I am for a reason..and he filled my heart with desires for a reason..I reli should be more careful with my myself..
Im a princess of God and being lways in the 2nd row isnt enough for me. I deserve it to be treated as someone precious. I deserve it to be fully loved and not just a bit.
And yeah, Im gonna smile becos thats also something I deserve to!!
One more time I figured out that GOD is the ONLY one I can fully trust..that hes the only one who understands my desires, my thoughts(even if I dont understand them) and my life.
I reli dont know what Im searching for in this life...Im searching for more..but what do I want more?? I have Jesus..and I have a hand ful of REAL friends I can fully trust. And I have one girl I love more than anyone else in this world..becos I can tell her whatever I want and shes listening, shes praying for me and she understands, even if its foolish.
And thats all I need..what do I want more??
theres only one more thing I firgured out yesterday: I need a man whos watching The lion king with me ;) and who loves it the way I do! what an awesome film!!! <3
I thought I could trust u, and that ur not the same u were before..but hey..she?? she of all ppl?? I reli thought u would have more taste...whatever..its ur life!!
Its just one more evidence that I shouldnt trust ppl that much...or that I shouldnt turn away from my requirements..becos Jesus made me the way I am for a reason..and he filled my heart with desires for a reason..I reli should be more careful with my myself..
Im a princess of God and being lways in the 2nd row isnt enough for me. I deserve it to be treated as someone precious. I deserve it to be fully loved and not just a bit.
And yeah, Im gonna smile becos thats also something I deserve to!!
One more time I figured out that GOD is the ONLY one I can fully trust..that hes the only one who understands my desires, my thoughts(even if I dont understand them) and my life.
I reli dont know what Im searching for in this life...Im searching for more..but what do I want more?? I have Jesus..and I have a hand ful of REAL friends I can fully trust. And I have one girl I love more than anyone else in this world..becos I can tell her whatever I want and shes listening, shes praying for me and she understands, even if its foolish.
And thats all I need..what do I want more??
theres only one more thing I firgured out yesterday: I need a man whos watching The lion king with me ;) and who loves it the way I do! what an awesome film!!! <3
Dienstag, 28. Oktober 2008
precious people..
I had such an amazing time today..
met Dani, Chrissie and Kaddi in stuttgart, we went to starbucks and walked through the town, ate hamburgers and had an awesome time!!
slowly I get to the point where I realize which things Im gonna miss when I will be away.
its not my so called home..its not the daily grind..but its the people I know and love.
Its the "meetings" in stuttgart, goeppingen, what do I know where..its the hangin around together in starbucks or somewhere else..its some services where I meet ppl I dont meet that often..Its easily the time I spend with people who have a wonderful heart, who think in a way that I do, who are fun to hang around with and ppl with whom I can talk about god without being worried what they could think about the stuff I say..and some new friendships I made through the summer..Im gonna miss all those ppl..
but for sure Im gonna find some great ppl in england too..they will have a similar heart...becos we are gonna be at a bible school..and noone who isnt "burning for god" would go to such a school
oh yeah I just dont know how everything is gonna work out...and its just hard not to know what will come..becis I reli have NO IDEA about the future...:/
but god will make it alright..I still believe this even if I dont sound like that...sometimes its hard and there are some days where Im not that sure..but all in all I just KNOW that he will!!
met Dani, Chrissie and Kaddi in stuttgart, we went to starbucks and walked through the town, ate hamburgers and had an awesome time!!
slowly I get to the point where I realize which things Im gonna miss when I will be away.
its not my so called home..its not the daily grind..but its the people I know and love.
Its the "meetings" in stuttgart, goeppingen, what do I know where..its the hangin around together in starbucks or somewhere else..its some services where I meet ppl I dont meet that often..Its easily the time I spend with people who have a wonderful heart, who think in a way that I do, who are fun to hang around with and ppl with whom I can talk about god without being worried what they could think about the stuff I say..and some new friendships I made through the summer..Im gonna miss all those ppl..
but for sure Im gonna find some great ppl in england too..they will have a similar heart...becos we are gonna be at a bible school..and noone who isnt "burning for god" would go to such a school
oh yeah I just dont know how everything is gonna work out...and its just hard not to know what will come..becis I reli have NO IDEA about the future...:/
but god will make it alright..I still believe this even if I dont sound like that...sometimes its hard and there are some days where Im not that sure..but all in all I just KNOW that he will!!
Montag, 27. Oktober 2008
confusing...
the weekend was just awesome..when we arrived the party started and we danced a long time..and also had some nice conversations. After the dancing part we played some games and had just fun..
I cant help but I had such a good time up on the nordalb becos somehow its a place my heart loves..I have so many memories of this place, maybe not just good memories, also bad ones, but there are LOADS of good memories, and they weight much more than the bad stuff...
everytime I arrive there I feel like God wants to do something IN me..in my heart..and everytime Im there he really does something..its not always easy..most of the time the hard stuff happens there..
I enjoyed the weekend becos of all the precious ppl around me..becos of all the good conversations, the worship and prayer times, the chill out & fun times and the teachings..
but there were also some thought that are not easy to carry at all..
I know Im still hurt in so many parts of my heart..and thats okay..becos there were loads of things in my life that ppl did that werent okay. they hurt me, even if they didnt wanted to..they just did and there are some wounds that are not healed at all..but thats okay.
the thing that is much more irritating and confusing is all the stuff Im thinkin about atm...
its about england..Im yearning to go there and I still think that if I could I would immediatley pack my bags and fly there...and it wouldnt even be hard for the first time...but..When I go there Im gonna be there for 10 MONTHS...u know how long this is?? 10 months far far far away from here..maybe not far away from the place I call home..but far away from ppl I call "home"..from their hearts, where I sometimes find a missing piece of peace..
I know there will be awesome ppl over there...but I was always scared about being alone..thats one reason why I always wanted to go in a foreign country alone..
I actually dont even know whats my problem atm...I just know that I feel a bit lost here and that I dont really know what I should do now..Im hangin around here, my familys there, but they are not really "there"..theyre watching tv..and Im sitting in my room trying to find something that I could do but theres nothing that seems to make sense at all..I wanted to read a book (well to be honest not just one but about 3 or 4^^)...but I just dont feel like readin at the mom..
maybe its just becos Ive been surrounded of some awesome ppl the last few days..now I sit at home alone again..and I know that I should write an essay and that I should learn some business stuff..yeah maybe its the daily grind Im scared about.. jesus let me just fly away...
I cant help but I had such a good time up on the nordalb becos somehow its a place my heart loves..I have so many memories of this place, maybe not just good memories, also bad ones, but there are LOADS of good memories, and they weight much more than the bad stuff...
everytime I arrive there I feel like God wants to do something IN me..in my heart..and everytime Im there he really does something..its not always easy..most of the time the hard stuff happens there..
I enjoyed the weekend becos of all the precious ppl around me..becos of all the good conversations, the worship and prayer times, the chill out & fun times and the teachings..
but there were also some thought that are not easy to carry at all..
I know Im still hurt in so many parts of my heart..and thats okay..becos there were loads of things in my life that ppl did that werent okay. they hurt me, even if they didnt wanted to..they just did and there are some wounds that are not healed at all..but thats okay.
the thing that is much more irritating and confusing is all the stuff Im thinkin about atm...
its about england..Im yearning to go there and I still think that if I could I would immediatley pack my bags and fly there...and it wouldnt even be hard for the first time...but..When I go there Im gonna be there for 10 MONTHS...u know how long this is?? 10 months far far far away from here..maybe not far away from the place I call home..but far away from ppl I call "home"..from their hearts, where I sometimes find a missing piece of peace..
I know there will be awesome ppl over there...but I was always scared about being alone..thats one reason why I always wanted to go in a foreign country alone..
I actually dont even know whats my problem atm...I just know that I feel a bit lost here and that I dont really know what I should do now..Im hangin around here, my familys there, but they are not really "there"..theyre watching tv..and Im sitting in my room trying to find something that I could do but theres nothing that seems to make sense at all..I wanted to read a book (well to be honest not just one but about 3 or 4^^)...but I just dont feel like readin at the mom..
maybe its just becos Ive been surrounded of some awesome ppl the last few days..now I sit at home alone again..and I know that I should write an essay and that I should learn some business stuff..yeah maybe its the daily grind Im scared about.. jesus let me just fly away...
Freitag, 24. Oktober 2008
YOU are the one and only!! <3
Weißt du eigentlich was du bist für mich?
Alles andre als normal
und jederzeit loyal, royal
Du bist mein Fundament
Keine die mich so gut kennt,
keine die mich sieht wie du.
Old Shatterhand ich Winnetou
Immer werden wir so bleiben
Jung und frei und schön, wir beide.
Stehen auf der guten Seite
Jahr für Jahr.
Immer werden wir so bleiben,
lachen über schlechte Zeiten.
Deine Schmerzen sind auch meine.
Jahr für Jahr.
Weißt du eigentlich
was du tust für mich?
Wenn du meine Lasten trägst,
und dich mit meinen Feinden schlägst?
Ich vertrau dir mehr als mir,
und ich liebe dich dafür.
dass du bist wie du isst,
dass du niemals vergisst
was das wichtige ist.
Wir beide
Immer werden wir so bleiben.
Jung und frei und schön, wir beide
stehen auf der guten Seite.
Jahr für Jahr.
Immer werden wir so bleiben,
lachen über schlechte Zeiten.
Deine schmerzen sind auch meine.
Jahr für Jahr.
Jahr für Jahr.
we played a hundred songs, we prayed, we sang, we flew to england, we slept in a tent, we walked through the rain we were lying in the sun, we sat for hours on a place and watched people walking through the streets, we prayed for people, we talked for hours, good stuff, crazy stuff, sad stuff..and we ALWAYS found a way together...we always kept the friendship..and I SURE well do it in the future too..
nothings gonna stop us, noone could hold us back..were gonna conquer the world, were gonna LIVE life like noone could imagine..our friendship will NEVER die!!
its just...today grundkurs starts again...3 years ago at OUR grundkurs we talked the first time..our story began pretty funny..but it moved on and its the most serious friendship I ever had...YOU ARE THE BEST ONE OF THE BEST ONES!!
I love u!!
now look, where we are
you're in my heart now
and there's no escaping it for you
cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last
cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last
cause you are the sun in my universe
consider the best when we felt the worst
and most of all, most of all
most of all, most of all,
most of all. most of all
it's built to last
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