maybe I should update this blog here..
I didnt wrote something for a long time..
The last week was pretty interesting for me..I did some steps foreward in hearing gods voice..
Especially when it was about ungodly believes and soaking God talked a lot to me.
I got many pictures and he told me some stuff about our relationship and also about the relationship to my parents. To be honest this is the hardest part of it all..
I really have to learn to just love them, no matter what.
I have to learn to forgive them and not to bear a grudge..because they are my parents and Im trying to think about the fact that they do all those things because they love me and they want me to be save.
There was also something hard I realized about all this stuff: I will never be able to wrap them into my arms because I forgave them and they forgave me..because they dont even really know what forgiveness means because they dont accept the forgiveness from Jesus.
They dont know how much forgiveness means to me and also they dont know how hard it is for me to forgive (them).
But God also told me that he is working inside of them..And I really wanna believe him..I wanna pray for them.
I know that God is working inside of me too..I feel it and its not always easy..
Its also not easy because the only person I can really talk about it all without feeling misunderstood is in england.
But I know that she is even there for me when shes in England! And thats so good.
But I nevertheless miss her..
Im excited what happens in the next few weeks of my week..lets see..
Dienstag, 20. Januar 2009
Sonntag, 11. Januar 2009
blubb
so just some updates of my life..
kaddi left on friday and it felt like I could never stop cryin again..people I tell u Ill never bring anyone to an airport again..thats so horrible to see that someone leaving and youre just like "nooooo dont go!!"
whatever..now Im kinda alone here, I stil got some friends but noone compares to her.
some old friends arent interested at all to stay in contact so atm its a time full of goodbies which Im not very happy about.
Im so happy that the ppl from toronto are here..I spend loads of time with them and Im so happy about it. Theyre so openhearted, so friendly and so loving, and even if theyre only here since about a week with some of them its like we knew eac other for a longer time..
its great fun making music with them, dance with them or just hang around and talk.
next weekend its gonna be the soaking weekend and I will be there...Im glad about it. Glad about bein away from home for 2 days..
just have some hard times with my parents becos I quit school..its annoying becos actually I just want some freetime now, without thinkin that much about the upcoming time, becos I have enough time to think about that all when I start my internship in february..
I just wanna be free for at least a few weeks becos I reli need some time for myself now without always worrying about anything..its so exhausting...!!
lifes okay somehow..I miss kaddi but i know its best for her to be in manchester...
so goodnite guys...
kaddi left on friday and it felt like I could never stop cryin again..people I tell u Ill never bring anyone to an airport again..thats so horrible to see that someone leaving and youre just like "nooooo dont go!!"
whatever..now Im kinda alone here, I stil got some friends but noone compares to her.
some old friends arent interested at all to stay in contact so atm its a time full of goodbies which Im not very happy about.
Im so happy that the ppl from toronto are here..I spend loads of time with them and Im so happy about it. Theyre so openhearted, so friendly and so loving, and even if theyre only here since about a week with some of them its like we knew eac other for a longer time..
its great fun making music with them, dance with them or just hang around and talk.
next weekend its gonna be the soaking weekend and I will be there...Im glad about it. Glad about bein away from home for 2 days..
just have some hard times with my parents becos I quit school..its annoying becos actually I just want some freetime now, without thinkin that much about the upcoming time, becos I have enough time to think about that all when I start my internship in february..
I just wanna be free for at least a few weeks becos I reli need some time for myself now without always worrying about anything..its so exhausting...!!
lifes okay somehow..I miss kaddi but i know its best for her to be in manchester...
so goodnite guys...
Dienstag, 6. Januar 2009
my wonderful saviour
so here I am..back home..and somehow Im glad..but on the other hand its a pity..
I reli dont miss the kitchen..I dont miss stinkin the whole day becos everything thats near the kitchen is stinkin...I also dont miss it to miss some great stuff becos Im standing in the kitchen..
Really..Ill never ever go into the kitchen again..cutting vegetables, washing the dishes, put away plates, glasses and shit like that..really..thats not my kind of work, thats what I figured out..
we had hard times sometimes..we didnt sleep much..we went to bed very late (or better said early) and got up at 7 am..we were standin in the kitchen when all the others had fun in the café, at seminars or somewhere alse, and we also missed a part of a very good worship time with the people from toronto...today we didnt even know if we could go to the last service becos we needed to clean the kitchen...
I guess God REALLY wanted to show me how precious these times are..where I can stand and worship him, where I can listen to good sermons, where I can just have some time for myself and him, some time to come down..and I guess he also wanted to show me that its sometimes very hard to have a serving heart...but that there are situations in life where its hard to give him honour but you nevertheless should do it ALL THE TIME in your life..
Yesterday evenin I had a very good worship time..all the evenings it was about bein real...before yourself, before other people and before God...
Sometimes Im reli stupid..I think I could show God how great he is and how much I worship him and stuff...and its not like I wouldnt mean that.
But sometimes its just not how I wish it would be...and so God told me yesterday that I should just lay down and enjoy the time with him..and thats what I did..and it was so good..becos before that worship time Ive been so dissatisfied with my relationship to him, with myself and with everything..and afterwards Ive been so calm..yeah..and happy!
so I reli figured out that God is good in every way..how wonderful our god is..Im reli thankful!! who would I be without him?? NOBODY!!
I reli dont miss the kitchen..I dont miss stinkin the whole day becos everything thats near the kitchen is stinkin...I also dont miss it to miss some great stuff becos Im standing in the kitchen..
Really..Ill never ever go into the kitchen again..cutting vegetables, washing the dishes, put away plates, glasses and shit like that..really..thats not my kind of work, thats what I figured out..
we had hard times sometimes..we didnt sleep much..we went to bed very late (or better said early) and got up at 7 am..we were standin in the kitchen when all the others had fun in the café, at seminars or somewhere alse, and we also missed a part of a very good worship time with the people from toronto...today we didnt even know if we could go to the last service becos we needed to clean the kitchen...
I guess God REALLY wanted to show me how precious these times are..where I can stand and worship him, where I can listen to good sermons, where I can just have some time for myself and him, some time to come down..and I guess he also wanted to show me that its sometimes very hard to have a serving heart...but that there are situations in life where its hard to give him honour but you nevertheless should do it ALL THE TIME in your life..
Yesterday evenin I had a very good worship time..all the evenings it was about bein real...before yourself, before other people and before God...
Sometimes Im reli stupid..I think I could show God how great he is and how much I worship him and stuff...and its not like I wouldnt mean that.
But sometimes its just not how I wish it would be...and so God told me yesterday that I should just lay down and enjoy the time with him..and thats what I did..and it was so good..becos before that worship time Ive been so dissatisfied with my relationship to him, with myself and with everything..and afterwards Ive been so calm..yeah..and happy!
so I reli figured out that God is good in every way..how wonderful our god is..Im reli thankful!! who would I be without him?? NOBODY!!
Donnerstag, 1. Januar 2009
why am I not allowed to...
so here we are in the year 2009..
actually its still unbelievable for me that the year 2008 is already over becos sometimes it seems as if time was runnin..
I clearly remember summer 2008 and i cant believe 6 months passed since Ive been at zeltstadt and stuff...
but whatever I think or however it feels, its over and something new is coming now.
And Im reli lookin foreward to everything that will happen this year. Im sure there will be lots of challenges and changes.
Somehow Im a bit scared about that but actually most of all Im excited becos goin through changes means growing in identity.
I know that God planned this whole year to be a year full of changes for me..the first change will come soon..kaddi will leave..and to be honest: I never had to dispense without her for such a long time. Im sure it will be hard..I cant just call her when i feel like it, I cant visit her whenever I want, she cant come around to share 2 hours together..yeah Ill pretty much miss her..but I know that this friendship was built in heaven and so Im sure that it will last..no matter what happens, were gonna stay together..Im gonna visit her, probably sometime in april..
and Im sure were gonna hev a great time then and maybe will visit some friends too..
another challenge will be the internship Im gonna do..its something completely new for me..and that I wont ever go to school again is a strange feeling..it will be my first year without school!
when everything turns out right Im gonna leave this country in 8 months to stay in england for 10 months. Without a doubt thats the biggest challenge..never been away from homw for such a long time..but..I know its what God wants me to do and so Im gonna do it and Im reli lookin foreward to it. Sometimes I wish I could leave immediately.
Im sure that God will do something in our prayer group..becos I know that we are ready to go for whatever he has for us and there could be crazy things goin on!!
I wanna learn to trust God more and more..I wanna give my life fully into his hands and I reli wanna give my WHOLE LIFE to serve him and other people..Im not quite sure how this will look like and I dont know what Im gonna do or what will be my way..but it feels like God would want to show it to me within this year 2009.
So I can be excited!! And I am..
well..actually almost everythings perfect right now..Im gonna go to the nordalb tomorrow to the new years camp and Im sure well have a good time..Kaddi and me are in the kitchen..it will be funny I guess ;)
so..actually almost everythings perfect...theres only ONE thing....
Your beauty pricks directly into my heart
your kind of being impresses me so deeply
your eyes dispossess me of my mind
youre so confused somtimes, it makes me laugh
everything you do makes me love you more and more
why am I not allowed to have you?
actually its still unbelievable for me that the year 2008 is already over becos sometimes it seems as if time was runnin..
I clearly remember summer 2008 and i cant believe 6 months passed since Ive been at zeltstadt and stuff...
but whatever I think or however it feels, its over and something new is coming now.
And Im reli lookin foreward to everything that will happen this year. Im sure there will be lots of challenges and changes.
Somehow Im a bit scared about that but actually most of all Im excited becos goin through changes means growing in identity.
I know that God planned this whole year to be a year full of changes for me..the first change will come soon..kaddi will leave..and to be honest: I never had to dispense without her for such a long time. Im sure it will be hard..I cant just call her when i feel like it, I cant visit her whenever I want, she cant come around to share 2 hours together..yeah Ill pretty much miss her..but I know that this friendship was built in heaven and so Im sure that it will last..no matter what happens, were gonna stay together..Im gonna visit her, probably sometime in april..
and Im sure were gonna hev a great time then and maybe will visit some friends too..
another challenge will be the internship Im gonna do..its something completely new for me..and that I wont ever go to school again is a strange feeling..it will be my first year without school!
when everything turns out right Im gonna leave this country in 8 months to stay in england for 10 months. Without a doubt thats the biggest challenge..never been away from homw for such a long time..but..I know its what God wants me to do and so Im gonna do it and Im reli lookin foreward to it. Sometimes I wish I could leave immediately.
Im sure that God will do something in our prayer group..becos I know that we are ready to go for whatever he has for us and there could be crazy things goin on!!
I wanna learn to trust God more and more..I wanna give my life fully into his hands and I reli wanna give my WHOLE LIFE to serve him and other people..Im not quite sure how this will look like and I dont know what Im gonna do or what will be my way..but it feels like God would want to show it to me within this year 2009.
So I can be excited!! And I am..
well..actually almost everythings perfect right now..Im gonna go to the nordalb tomorrow to the new years camp and Im sure well have a good time..Kaddi and me are in the kitchen..it will be funny I guess ;)
so..actually almost everythings perfect...theres only ONE thing....
Your beauty pricks directly into my heart
your kind of being impresses me so deeply
your eyes dispossess me of my mind
youre so confused somtimes, it makes me laugh
everything you do makes me love you more and more
Montag, 29. Dezember 2008
I praise you in this storm
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
(Casting crowns - praise you in this storm)
sometimes its not that easy to lift eyes and hands up to jesus to praise him becos sometimes things r just not goin like i wuld want them to..
Im sad these days.
becos I hate it to say goodbye to people that are important to me..
and I hate not to know what will happen...
and I hate to wait..
well actually its not that Im full of hate atm...just full of sadness.
cos everybodys leavin but me..I will stay here..pretend its good. let u think Im alrite.
and Im gonna go foreward and Im gonna praise the lord becos he is still good!
"all of my life, in every season, you are still god, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship"
God always stays the same and yes, sometimes he gives and sometimes he takes away...and sometimes its painful when he takes away..but he does not take away without a reason..he just takes away what destroys us and what isnt good for us..it hurts, but in the end it will be alrite!
no matter what comes I reli wanna try to fix my eyes upon jesus and to give him praie, every day, every hour, every minute of my life. Give praise, be joyful and thankful all the time becos God gave me so much..he gave me this life to live it just for him.
oh praise him!!
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
(Casting crowns - praise you in this storm)
sometimes its not that easy to lift eyes and hands up to jesus to praise him becos sometimes things r just not goin like i wuld want them to..
Im sad these days.
becos I hate it to say goodbye to people that are important to me..
and I hate not to know what will happen...
and I hate to wait..
well actually its not that Im full of hate atm...just full of sadness.
cos everybodys leavin but me..I will stay here..pretend its good. let u think Im alrite.
and Im gonna go foreward and Im gonna praise the lord becos he is still good!
"all of my life, in every season, you are still god, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship"
God always stays the same and yes, sometimes he gives and sometimes he takes away...and sometimes its painful when he takes away..but he does not take away without a reason..he just takes away what destroys us and what isnt good for us..it hurts, but in the end it will be alrite!
no matter what comes I reli wanna try to fix my eyes upon jesus and to give him praie, every day, every hour, every minute of my life. Give praise, be joyful and thankful all the time becos God gave me so much..he gave me this life to live it just for him.
oh praise him!!
Sonntag, 28. Dezember 2008
friendship..
where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness...
how do the people say?
friends are comin and friends are goin..of course there are some "friends" you lose in your life and its not the first time its happenin to me..
but..its someone I never thought this friendship will end..we knew each other for years, we actually were friends my whole life..
and now she has to concentrate on herself and only wants to have the memories?? gosh how stupid is this???
cant believe it..
actually Im starting to ask myself how the next 5 months will be..
kaddi will leave and actually I dont know anyone here with whom I could do all those things we did the last year..
seems like all my friends are fadin away somehow..the one does not want to know me anymore, the second only sees her boyfriend and has no time for me anyway..
of course there are people I love and who care about me but its just not the same..
with whom should I make music?? it perfectly fits to play music with kaddi..with whom should I drive to Tamm? to the Jesus Treff in Stuttgart? to Goeppingen? with whom should I do stupid fun photoshootings? with whom should I laugh??
with whom should I talk for hours, who would listen to me when I talk about one topic every and every day again? with whom should I dream? with whom should I go to the streets to make music? or with whom sould I go to the streets to pray for people? who will watch walt disney films with me? who would drive to the Ikea with me spontaneously?
whos there to take me in his arms when Im sad?
noone could but her!!
Im gonna miss you...but nevertheless Im sure u r gonna have a good time over there and maybe Im gonna have a good time too..I know its the right way for u to go and I know it wont be that long becos ur only 5 months away and Im gonna visit you..
I know its all not that bad but nevertheless sometimes its hard to think about...
I lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness...
how do the people say?
friends are comin and friends are goin..of course there are some "friends" you lose in your life and its not the first time its happenin to me..
but..its someone I never thought this friendship will end..we knew each other for years, we actually were friends my whole life..
and now she has to concentrate on herself and only wants to have the memories?? gosh how stupid is this???
cant believe it..
actually Im starting to ask myself how the next 5 months will be..
kaddi will leave and actually I dont know anyone here with whom I could do all those things we did the last year..
seems like all my friends are fadin away somehow..the one does not want to know me anymore, the second only sees her boyfriend and has no time for me anyway..
of course there are people I love and who care about me but its just not the same..
with whom should I make music?? it perfectly fits to play music with kaddi..with whom should I drive to Tamm? to the Jesus Treff in Stuttgart? to Goeppingen? with whom should I do stupid fun photoshootings? with whom should I laugh??
with whom should I talk for hours, who would listen to me when I talk about one topic every and every day again? with whom should I dream? with whom should I go to the streets to make music? or with whom sould I go to the streets to pray for people? who will watch walt disney films with me? who would drive to the Ikea with me spontaneously?
whos there to take me in his arms when Im sad?
noone could but her!!
Im gonna miss you...but nevertheless Im sure u r gonna have a good time over there and maybe Im gonna have a good time too..I know its the right way for u to go and I know it wont be that long becos ur only 5 months away and Im gonna visit you..
I know its all not that bad but nevertheless sometimes its hard to think about...
Sonntag, 21. Dezember 2008
how life goes..
lots of stuff is goin on in my life rite now..
some things are good, others are not that good..
good things are that Im gonna do the worship in DOMINO with Kaddi today..and Im sure both of us will enjoy it just to give praise to the lord. Becos we learned that its not about how it sounds or that it sounds perfectly, but about our hearts. and I think we both know how to do that.
Before DOMINO we will go into town today to make some street music.
Worship God on the streets of kirchheim.
Its something different, but we wanna do what god told us what we should do last week.
And I think its gonna be good.
Yesterday we organized a breakfast for the people from the streets. it was a good experience to talk to them and stuff, and now Im very excited about christmas eve becos Im gonna go to esslingen to give food to the homeless ppl and Im lookin foreward to this.
At new years eve we r gonna be at the worship night in dettingen and we will play there.
Im reli lookin foreward to this becos I cant imagine anything that would be better than starting the new year with giving praise to the lord.
Im excited what comes in the new year, we will be at the "Neujahrsfreizeit" on the Nordalb and I expect a lot from god.
so lets just see what comes..
the one thing that isnt that awesome is for example that I had my very last day in school at friday..it was a bit strange becos I had to say goodbye to all my classmates..and I realized that some of them got reli important for me..somehow I love them and its hard to know that it will never be like it was before..
At the one hand Im sooo glad that its over and on the other hand I could cry..I dont reli know what comes next..Im gonna do an internship in the church in dettingen, but I still need a place where I can work to earn some money for england..
and there r also a few things that make me sad but I dont wanna write that down here..
thats how life goes..it cant always be just good!
And through all those struggles I still know that God is with me and that he has a plan..hes in control. I trust him.
some things are good, others are not that good..
good things are that Im gonna do the worship in DOMINO with Kaddi today..and Im sure both of us will enjoy it just to give praise to the lord. Becos we learned that its not about how it sounds or that it sounds perfectly, but about our hearts. and I think we both know how to do that.
Before DOMINO we will go into town today to make some street music.
Worship God on the streets of kirchheim.
Its something different, but we wanna do what god told us what we should do last week.
And I think its gonna be good.
Yesterday we organized a breakfast for the people from the streets. it was a good experience to talk to them and stuff, and now Im very excited about christmas eve becos Im gonna go to esslingen to give food to the homeless ppl and Im lookin foreward to this.
At new years eve we r gonna be at the worship night in dettingen and we will play there.
Im reli lookin foreward to this becos I cant imagine anything that would be better than starting the new year with giving praise to the lord.
Im excited what comes in the new year, we will be at the "Neujahrsfreizeit" on the Nordalb and I expect a lot from god.
so lets just see what comes..
the one thing that isnt that awesome is for example that I had my very last day in school at friday..it was a bit strange becos I had to say goodbye to all my classmates..and I realized that some of them got reli important for me..somehow I love them and its hard to know that it will never be like it was before..
At the one hand Im sooo glad that its over and on the other hand I could cry..I dont reli know what comes next..Im gonna do an internship in the church in dettingen, but I still need a place where I can work to earn some money for england..
and there r also a few things that make me sad but I dont wanna write that down here..
thats how life goes..it cant always be just good!
And through all those struggles I still know that God is with me and that he has a plan..hes in control. I trust him.
Montag, 15. Dezember 2008
Ewigkeit!!
Ich will Ewigkeit in meinem Herzen spuern, Ewigkeit!
Ich will Ewigkeit in meinem Innern spuern, Ewigkeit in dir!
Ueberschreite die Grenzen meines kleinen Verstandes,
ich will nah bei dir bleiben, reiche dir jetzt meine hand.
Komm und zieh mich aus dem was mich gefangen haelt,
komm und loese mir die Ketten einer todgeweihten Welt.
Ich will in der Wahrheit leben, will das lieben was du gibst,
will ewigkeit!!
thats the song thats running through my mind all day..its so awesome. Its reli what I want God to do. I reli wanna live in the truth and I want God to make me free of all those things that enchain me.
Today was a strange day..at the one hand it was horrible, becos I sat in school and needed to write a business test...I didnt know anything. Before the test I just thought about runnin away and tryin one last time to learn as much as I can just to get those fckn 5 points..but I already made my decision to leave this school, and so I sat there, waitin till my teacher came with this test and it was such a horrible feeling..never ever wanna do something like that again..
after half an hour there was nothing left that I could write down becos I just didnt know anything..so I gave up and left school...actually forever becos friday will be my last day in this school forever!! somehow it hurts just to know that u didnt won that fight but..I know that God has bigger plans for me and Im sure my lifes gonna be alright!! and Im glad to finally leave this place becos I RELI RELI HATE it!!
at the other hand the day was wonderful becos I went for a walk at the sunset and the sky looked so beautiful and I thought about what Tobi said yesterday when he preached...that the sky at the sunset changes every minute and that this is just like our relationship to God is...
and I walked there and I was so amazed becos the picture I saw was breathtaking!!
everything around me was white...snow all around me..and then the sky was full of red, orange, yellow and rose but also grey and dark blue..and the grey clouds just passed by and I just stopped, stood there stunning with eyes wide open and was like "oh my god you are such a wonderful creator!!!" and when I stood there i listened to a song of samuel harfst which says "Ist es nicht wunderbar an diesem Tag zu sein? Es ist ein Privileg, erachte es nicht als klein.....denn der Herr tut heute noch Wunder, Stunde um Stunde, Tag fuer Tag..."
And I just felt like I would experience a miracle at this moment becos I was allowed to see this beautiful sky..I never felt like this before..and I had such a good prayer time and felt so good afterwards..God is such a peace giver, but he also gives strength!! WOOOW!!
And this song also reminds me evrytime I listen to it that it is such a big gift to be in this world and to be alive!!
And it reli makes me happy that God is my father and that theres nothing that could seperate me from his love. its so good to be his beloved child and I just cant tell how I feel at the moment...Im so amazed and I LOVE my GOD!!
Ich will Ewigkeit in meinem Innern spuern, Ewigkeit in dir!
Ueberschreite die Grenzen meines kleinen Verstandes,
ich will nah bei dir bleiben, reiche dir jetzt meine hand.
Komm und zieh mich aus dem was mich gefangen haelt,
komm und loese mir die Ketten einer todgeweihten Welt.
Ich will in der Wahrheit leben, will das lieben was du gibst,
will ewigkeit!!
thats the song thats running through my mind all day..its so awesome. Its reli what I want God to do. I reli wanna live in the truth and I want God to make me free of all those things that enchain me.
Today was a strange day..at the one hand it was horrible, becos I sat in school and needed to write a business test...I didnt know anything. Before the test I just thought about runnin away and tryin one last time to learn as much as I can just to get those fckn 5 points..but I already made my decision to leave this school, and so I sat there, waitin till my teacher came with this test and it was such a horrible feeling..never ever wanna do something like that again..
after half an hour there was nothing left that I could write down becos I just didnt know anything..so I gave up and left school...actually forever becos friday will be my last day in this school forever!! somehow it hurts just to know that u didnt won that fight but..I know that God has bigger plans for me and Im sure my lifes gonna be alright!! and Im glad to finally leave this place becos I RELI RELI HATE it!!
at the other hand the day was wonderful becos I went for a walk at the sunset and the sky looked so beautiful and I thought about what Tobi said yesterday when he preached...that the sky at the sunset changes every minute and that this is just like our relationship to God is...
and I walked there and I was so amazed becos the picture I saw was breathtaking!!
everything around me was white...snow all around me..and then the sky was full of red, orange, yellow and rose but also grey and dark blue..and the grey clouds just passed by and I just stopped, stood there stunning with eyes wide open and was like "oh my god you are such a wonderful creator!!!" and when I stood there i listened to a song of samuel harfst which says "Ist es nicht wunderbar an diesem Tag zu sein? Es ist ein Privileg, erachte es nicht als klein.....denn der Herr tut heute noch Wunder, Stunde um Stunde, Tag fuer Tag..."
And I just felt like I would experience a miracle at this moment becos I was allowed to see this beautiful sky..I never felt like this before..and I had such a good prayer time and felt so good afterwards..God is such a peace giver, but he also gives strength!! WOOOW!!
And this song also reminds me evrytime I listen to it that it is such a big gift to be in this world and to be alive!!
And it reli makes me happy that God is my father and that theres nothing that could seperate me from his love. its so good to be his beloved child and I just cant tell how I feel at the moment...Im so amazed and I LOVE my GOD!!
Sonntag, 14. Dezember 2008
Gods so GOOD!
its so funny..:D
I almost got crazy before we got on stage yesterday...but it was so good. it was better than I thought it would be. we reli had fun and there were no real bad faults or something.
its so funny how often we are sooo excited about something that isnt that bad at all.
I think Im on a good way to to learn and to understand that God has everything in his hands.
hes in control, thats the most important thing. becos when he is I dont have to be.
The evenin yesterday was so good.
The shows of Flo Ostertag, Stubi live band, Ceil and especially of Samuel harfst were so amazing. I just love listening to awesome music.
And today weve been to tamm to the prayer day of soul devotion.
and it also was pretty good becos we had a good prayer time and a good worship time and a good walk through beautiful little Tamm ;)
Afterwards we went to the 3D and I loved what Tobi said in his sermon..it reminded me again of the fact that God is such a peace giver. that I can get calm near him and that the relationship to him is so exciting.
when Kaddi and me were prayin we got a new vision.
Im so excited about this and it made me so happy that we both had the same stuff God told us.
on tuesday we will go to stuttgart to make some music on the streets.
lets see what happens. its something completely new for us..and Im excited what Gods gonna do there.
Im so happy because God is a good God. Hes beautiful. Hes graceful. Hes almighty. Hes in control. He is GOD. and Im his beloved child.
isnt that a reason just to be happy??
I almost got crazy before we got on stage yesterday...but it was so good. it was better than I thought it would be. we reli had fun and there were no real bad faults or something.
its so funny how often we are sooo excited about something that isnt that bad at all.
I think Im on a good way to to learn and to understand that God has everything in his hands.
hes in control, thats the most important thing. becos when he is I dont have to be.
The evenin yesterday was so good.
The shows of Flo Ostertag, Stubi live band, Ceil and especially of Samuel harfst were so amazing. I just love listening to awesome music.
And today weve been to tamm to the prayer day of soul devotion.
and it also was pretty good becos we had a good prayer time and a good worship time and a good walk through beautiful little Tamm ;)
Afterwards we went to the 3D and I loved what Tobi said in his sermon..it reminded me again of the fact that God is such a peace giver. that I can get calm near him and that the relationship to him is so exciting.
when Kaddi and me were prayin we got a new vision.
Im so excited about this and it made me so happy that we both had the same stuff God told us.
on tuesday we will go to stuttgart to make some music on the streets.
lets see what happens. its something completely new for us..and Im excited what Gods gonna do there.
Im so happy because God is a good God. Hes beautiful. Hes graceful. Hes almighty. Hes in control. He is GOD. and Im his beloved child.
isnt that a reason just to be happy??
Samstag, 13. Dezember 2008
aaah!!
this is so damn crazy..
Kaddi and me r reli playin at the christmasrock tonite..
and the more I think about the more I get a reeeeli bad feeling about it..
not becos I think we r not good enough..but becos there will be many ppl and I will be soooooo excited, who knows what Im gonna do wrong when Im excited??
huuuuh I dont wanna think about that..
I was lying awake the half night and Im not even tired.
Im tryin to do as many other things as possible to do everything but not think about this evenin..
I even watered the flowers, thats something I didnt do for 3 years^^
I see, I get crazy!! :D
actually I believe that god will make it alright..why shouldnt he? we are his children and he loves us. We just need to pray..and thats what Im gonna do..
Kaddi and me r reli playin at the christmasrock tonite..
and the more I think about the more I get a reeeeli bad feeling about it..
not becos I think we r not good enough..but becos there will be many ppl and I will be soooooo excited, who knows what Im gonna do wrong when Im excited??
huuuuh I dont wanna think about that..
I was lying awake the half night and Im not even tired.
Im tryin to do as many other things as possible to do everything but not think about this evenin..
I even watered the flowers, thats something I didnt do for 3 years^^
I see, I get crazy!! :D
actually I believe that god will make it alright..why shouldnt he? we are his children and he loves us. We just need to pray..and thats what Im gonna do..
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