who am I called to be?

its not a very good feeling to figure out that youre not really that kind of daughter for your father that he wished u to be.
I know now that Im not. I guess he wished that I wouldnt believe in God so deeply that Id like to go to a bible school. And I also think that hed wish that I wouldnt wanna help people and make it to my job, but would rather like if I would be satisfacted with an office-job where I would earn a lot of money.
And actually I can even understand him. Im sure that its not easy to have children who do not think like u do in any way..
But if theres one thing Im sure about it is that Im not that kind of human whos only interested in earning much money, caring about themself and who hasnt got dreams and wishes for his life.
I know my way wont ever be easy becos I plan lots of things that sometimes seem to be unreachable. And I understand that my dad wants only the best for me so he just wishes that I would have a safe job and a safe life..but I just cant live this way..
Its hard to figure out that u are not who u wished to be and that there are thoughts like "wouldnt it be better not to have any children?" but through all the disappointment I feel about that theres still kind of understanding and I feel sorry...
but what I also know that right now Im exactly who God wants me to be right now and that he meant me the way I am. Its not easy to be me but its good that I am me..