dying..and live again!

People moving all the time
Inside a perfectly straight line
Don't you wanna curve away?
When it's such…
It's such a perfect day
It's such a perfect day

Now the sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time

Could be blue,
could be grey
without you I’m just miles away

could be blue
I don’t mind
Without you it’s a waste of time

u know...there must be a way without u..there must be a life without u..it seems unreal to let u go..it hurts to let u go..it still does..but the more I get away from u the more I get sure about that its the right thing..and I get more sure everyday that it will be the right way to go to england..I dont know whats going to happen..but I know that I dont always need to know everything becos Gods just bigger..stronger..better! better than anything that I expect or imagine..
u know, ur the one who want to tell me that I would become obsessed with the thought to get to england, with the thought of GOD in my life..
u know, thats what shows me that its just right..I guess ull never ever understand how fuckin much I loved u..ull never see how much you meant to me and u still do..but I do not wanna make promises I cant keep..Im sorry to be honest and I hate it but I dont wanna be a liar..
I hope youll get happy someday..I hope youre gonna find someone who loves u the way that u deserve it..I just feel like I couldnt give u what u want, what u need and what u deserve..it cant be me..
Im gonna get away and Im gonna come back..but I wanna die..becos all the old stuff inside of me has to die..I wanna be a new person..becos I cant bear it to have things within me that arent pure, that arent the truth..and I have so many lies within me...lies about myself, about the world about the people..it will hurt like hell and maybe even more..but I know Im gonna be new..pure..Im gonna be true..and Im never gonna be like I have been again..never, never, never!