the TRUTH!!

why do people - and I do that too - always pray and say to Jesus "please jesus, show me what you want..what you want me to do and what you think is right!"
goodness..I prayed like that far too long..but now it made "click" and I just realize:
Jesus already TOLD me what he wants me to do..i just have to read his word..it´s so easy! so freakin easy and I make it too difficult!
And I feel desires in my heart, about places to go or things to do..why shouldn´t that be god? he puts the truth and the way into my heart..that´s what I long for..why shouldn´t it be god? why shouldn´t it be right?
If I wanna go to soul-survivor camp next week, why shouldn´t it be right? no matter how much it costs..I fckn don´t care about that NO LONGER!
I do what my desire is!
Why do I ask ans ask and think about if it would be right to go to bristol to school of ministry after school if that´s my wish? Jesus laid it into my heart..oh yes, I hardly can´t forget about that thought..so why should I?
and why do I always think I have to do so many things for christ? I have to do NOTHING! I CAN´T DO ANYTHING! escept one thing: I need to believe.
Believe that Jesus christ suffered and bleeded to DIE upon that cross..JUST for ME!
there´s no sin anymore..there´s no guilt..God reconciled the world with himself - through christ! he made jesus the sin..jesus died on the cross..the sin is DEAD!!
the only thing where we sin again and again is the fact that we don´t believe that Jesus made everything alright! and that we judge ourselves..because we still feel guilty..but WHY DO WE???? GOD FORGAVE US! People, why can´t we see that god already FORGAVE us??
we live with him through GRACE..nothing more!! NOTHING more!!
we will never be bad enough to not deserve the grace...but we will also never be good enough to deserve it! that´s the TRUTH!!I feel like I really realized for the first time that jesus really DIED! and that he beared everything..
And also something good: I don´t have to die to live forever! yeah people..I will live forever! Look at John 11, 25+26, what more to say?
I´m sure we will see revival in germany..the people want more..there are lots of people who want more! I want gods kingdom to come to earth! I wanna see people healed from their sickness..not only physically..also inside..in their soul..in their own sickness!! because jesus CAN! and he DOES heal!