God is using me..

so what I do at the moment is hangin around here, eating salt and vinegar crisps, drinkin some tea with milk, eating some chocolate from there, listening to easeful music and thinking about all that God will do in the future..just like I did when I was in england..
it´s kinda stupid to do what I do because it doesnt make sense..I only get fat if I go on like this ;)
but there´s nothing I could do instead cos I just feel to lazy..it´s a bit crazy, I went to bed today at 5 am..and I slept till 2pm..that´s not really a good rythm for sleep..
and that´s how I feel..out of rythm..
it´s a really strange feeling to be "at home" but in fact you know that you just don´t feel like home because you left home yesterday..oh goodness, what the hell am I talking??

I know God has a big plan for me..
I know that the first step of my plan for the future will be to go to england. But what I can´t say (and I´m almost glad about that) is how long I wanna stay there.
Maybe I find a job that I really wanna do there..so if that would happen I would stay there. because there are a lot of things to do and to learn..
the funny thing is that I have a lot of things and people here that I really really love from my heart. and I´m thankful that I have them and that God gave me SO MUCH!
but I know if they are real friends they will still be friends when I´m in england. so there´s no need to stay here..I could come back whenever I want...that´s whats such a blessing.
I´m not handcuffed here...there´s nothing that really enchains me here..
so I´m free to go wherever I want and how long I want.
God showed me that EVERYWHERE in this world you can find awesome and lovely people. I´ll never be alone. and even if there would NOBODY, god is always with me, whatever I do, wherever I go.
I know I wanna help hopeless people. I know I wanna give love to this heartless and loveless world! I wanna show people that there is someone who always loves them.
I wanna show people that it´s worth living..
I wanna tell them my story because God took me out of the mudd and the dirt and placed me directly into his light! he took all the bullshit off my life and he gave me a new one that is clean and justified through him.
I wanna go to the streets where the people are who have NOTHING. and I wanna give them something..I wanna go to the lost and lonely places where are the people who did many things wrong and who aren´t loved by ANYONE.
I wanna go to the people that are hurt because there were other people in their lives who hurt them.
I´m sure god will use me..in any way..I don´t know how, I don´t know where and I don´t know when..but I´m sure he WILL!!