Gods teaching me

its so good to know and also to feel that God has everything in his hands!!
lots of stuff is happening in my life atm..for example when I walked to dettingen to the "insel-godi" at sunday I just talked with god for a while..and it just felt like I could say from my heart that if he wants me to stay alone all life I would do it for him. so I told him.
and it wasnt like its always been that I felt like "mmmh...I dont wanna be alone..." afterwards..it was good. easily good.
the worship in the service was pretty cool. at the beginning I didnt reli came to God..something held me back..I dont know..but as time went by I was reli ready to stand up and to worship the lord..and it reli felt like I would stand at his throne and it felt like he was smiling..
there was a time when everybody could sind out what was on his heart..its reli not my kind of behaviour that I just sing and sind what I feel and what I want to tell God. But I just did..I sang what was on my heart..no matter what the ppl thought or how it sounded..and thats the point I wanna reach when I do worship..and I know it will take some time to get to that point..but Im gonna take the time becos Jesus gives me some time to get better.
it was soo good!!
Yesterday I had a long and exhausting day..had school until 5 pm and then had to go to the theatre at 6.30pm and came back home at 12pm..between school and theatre I took a lil time out to have at least a short time with god..I would have loved to have some more but unfortunetely it wasnt possible..but even in this 30 minutes God spoke to me..I listened to some music and there was a song where the lyrics are "Im made to live, Im made to love, Im made to know you!"
And it was just like God told me with this: No longer care about relationships..YOU ARE MADE TO LOVE! but its in my hands and in my time WHEN u will love someone again..
and he gave me the picture of an eagle that flew higher and higher..kaddi had a pic of an eagle in summer for me too..I dont exactly know what it means but it felt a bit like God wanted to show me that this picture belongs to a prophecy I got in summer too where someone said "someone is here who just ended up a relationship..it was very hard and it still is and you are hurt..but it will be better in time and God will give you new strength and new love and you´re gonna be perfectly prepared for a new relationship"...the more I think about it the more I KNOW that it was for me..and as it seems this picture belongs to that prophecy..
Dont know exactly what it means..but Im excited to find out!!
Im so thankful that God does such amazing things in my life..hes teaching me..every and every day!! could I have a better teacher? NO!!

I surrender...

when I got to bed yesterday it just felt like there were things I havent said to God yet but things that need to be said! So I laid there and reflected the things that went through my head this evening.
and then I knew what it was..its about having a partner and stuff...I hate being alone, thats a fact. and I would wish to have someone I can share life with..someone with whom Ill stay together for the rest of my life, someone Im gonna marry...
David Pierce asked a question yesterday: would you be willing to live without a partner your whole life?
sometimes when I hear thjings like that I think "yeah of course, for God I would do everything"..but when Im honest and when I look into my heart I know that I couldnt say with all my heart that Im willing to do this. I wouldnt be able to pray "Jesus if u want me to live without a partner my whole life I would do it". Because I know that I wouldnt be honest...maybe a part of meould mean it but the other part is too afraid...becos I know that God hears my prayers and that what I pray could come true..and Im scared to to be alone my whole life..to me it seems like a nightmare..
but I know that I fix way too much of all the stuff with love and partner..and so I just gave it to jesus. I just gave it into his hands, I surrendered. I said that it wouldnt be honest to pray the sentence I wrote before but that I want it to be in his hands what happens next..
then I fell asleep..
when I woke up today I still got the feeling theres something I need to tell him..so I gave up on safety and I gave up ma lack of trust..I prayed that his will be done and that I wanna give into his hands what happens in the future, concerning job, bible school, england, actually easily EVERYTHING! its in his hands and I feel better now...
when I listened to this David yesterday I realized that there are still LOTS of things I need to learn..about my life and Jesus..this guy would do whatever God wants from him..everything..he lived in a one-room-flat with his wife and they worked low paid jobs...although both of them have been to the university...he did it for god and he did lots of more stuf..I want that too.
I wanna go after whatever god has for me, even if it isnt what Im dreamin about..I know he has only the best for me!
I dont like the worship thing that I wrote about a post before..becos I know that a part of all this is, that its about attention that people give me..and I know this is wrong. I know its wrong to do the worship and to feel better when ppl tell me afterwards that it was good..
so its the only right decision to let it be till God tells me Im allowed to do it again..
tomorrow school starts again..and the thought about it ruins my day..I dont wanna go there I hate it...I see..hard times are coming but Im gonna fight them cos Jesus is with me and I surrendered and its everything in his hands...everything!

decisions

seems like today has been the decision-day....And I really hope that I made decisions I can keep..
today in the service while we did the worship I heard God talkin to me..
I didnt like what he said at all..but I know hes right!
he said "Lizzy...as long as you cant let yourself fall and give your heart fully to me when u worship me, you shouldnt lead or do the worship in ANY service.."
I did that quite a lot the last time..since the summer holidays I sang or played in every domino service..I played at the beat and I played in my youth-group...and the more I became the leader, the more I realized I didnt do it with all my heart..
I almost couldnt come down...thats pretty hard...so I decided to be obedient. I wont do worship in service in front of the crowd...only between all the people..becos I wanna come back to the heart of worship..where I dont care where I stand, how I look like or if my singing is perfect.
I wanna give my heart completely to God when I worship him. And I dont wanna say that I didnt gave my heart the last few weeks when I did worship..but I didnt gave it completely..
I wanna be honest...honest to God, honest to myself and honest to my community..so it will be the right way..
I also realized that there are many things that hold me back. Hold me back to reli GO the way God has for me.
So I wanna get rid of a few things...for example safety..the longing to have a partner (God knows what hes doing)...lack of trust (Im just too scared sometimes)...and I guess there are lots of more things...I dont even wanna give a tiny part of myself to the devil...becos hes manupulating...And I also know that the devil only hassomething tpo manipulate when I give him something..thats the point. so I dont wanna give him any part of me becos I BELONG TO JESUS!!!
and theres one sentence david pierce said that evening: Jesus is SO powerful!!!!
Against Jesus the devil is only a TINY mouse that cant do ANYTHING!!
so Im safe...so I dont have to fear anything or have to worry about anything..IM SAFE!

Your PERFECT LOVE Jesus

I wanna see the broken hearts
finding hope in God above
I wanna know I’m doing all I can
So with this life, with all I am
No matter what the cost may be
I pray to see your love become our cause

I won’t stop believing
You alone are, You alone are God
In You there's freedom

Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for you now

This perfect love, I can't explain
This way of life that has no end
Your mercy satisfies, it's all I need
My purpose found in You alone
to love the lost and bring them home
We were made to glorify our king

Your love brings me to my knees again
We're gonna bring an anthem of love
We're gonna live for you
May your love become my every thought
I wanna know the sound of your heart
I wanna live for you now

Sing You, you bring me life
You bring me hope
You're all I need


when I found this song today I was totally touched..
becos thats what Im dreaming about...Im dreaming about people who have a broken heart and who are hopeless who find hope in God.
and I know that HE is GOD and that HE ist the ONLY GOD I wanna sing to, I wnna pray to and I wanna live with!
I never had so much freedom in my life than I have since I have God in my life.
And I could start to tell of my fathers perfect love but I wouldnt come to any end and I also wouldnt find the right words to explain how wonderful and perfect it is.
so only one thing: Jesus, thank you for your perfect LOVE!!

Whom shall I fear?

I will seek You Lord
While I am in my youth.
I will serve You Lord,
And I'll proclaim Your truth.
For You've searched and found me
While I was far away.
And in my troubled times
You've always kept me safe.

The Lord is my Light
and my Salvation
Whom Shall I Fear?
Whom Shall I Fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life
Whom Shall I Fear?
Whom Shall I Fear?


yeah, the Lord is my saviour, the lord is my light and my salvation!
sometimes I reli ask myself what I fear in this world??
theres nothing that could bring me down becos I have Jesus..and I wont fall deeper than into his loving hand! Im so safe in his arms...Im so safe no matter what comes my way.
Im so thankful for this unconditional love he has for me!! Im full of joy becos of my Lord. Im full of joy becos of his love and mercy, because hes almighty, becos I conquered the death, he conquered the devil. Hes holy, hes glorious, lets give him praise and honor!!

someone like...you?

I would love to share my life with someone..
someone who loves me and someone I love with all my heart.
Id love to go out to the streets with someone to tell the world that jesus lives and to pray for the sick and the hopeless.
Id love to have someone I could go to a worship-night with, and to know that he enjoys the same ways as I do.
Id love to have someone I can walk over fields and meadows with..someone who loves to have a walk, just like I do.
Id love to have someone I could just hang around with in my room, having good conversations, fun or maybe a good soaking time..
I would love to have someone with whom I could sit by the fireside and with whom I could drink some hot chocolate when its cold, snowing and freezing outside..
Id love to have someone with whom I could watch the lion king or some other old films that are so much better than all the new stuff thats out now..
Id just love to have someone to share life, thoughts, desires and love!
Of course I can do all this stuff alone or with friends..it can also be good...but its something reli different!
life isnt easier when u have a partner..but its so good not to be alone..

trust and ppl

its just so typical..I guess u reli didnt change at all..
I thought I could trust u, and that ur not the same u were before..but hey..she?? she of all ppl?? I reli thought u would have more taste...whatever..its ur life!!
Its just one more evidence that I shouldnt trust ppl that much...or that I shouldnt turn away from my requirements..becos Jesus made me the way I am for a reason..and he filled my heart with desires for a reason..I reli should be more careful with my myself..
Im a princess of God and being lways in the 2nd row isnt enough for me. I deserve it to be treated as someone precious. I deserve it to be fully loved and not just a bit.
And yeah, Im gonna smile becos thats also something I deserve to!!
One more time I figured out that GOD is the ONLY one I can fully trust..that hes the only one who understands my desires, my thoughts(even if I dont understand them) and my life.
I reli dont know what Im searching for in this life...Im searching for more..but what do I want more?? I have Jesus..and I have a hand ful of REAL friends I can fully trust. And I have one girl I love more than anyone else in this world..becos I can tell her whatever I want and shes listening, shes praying for me and she understands, even if its foolish.
And thats all I need..what do I want more??
theres only one more thing I firgured out yesterday: I need a man whos watching The lion king with me ;) and who loves it the way I do! what an awesome film!!! <3

precious people..

I had such an amazing time today..
met Dani, Chrissie and Kaddi in stuttgart, we went to starbucks and walked through the town, ate hamburgers and had an awesome time!!
slowly I get to the point where I realize which things Im gonna miss when I will be away.
its not my so called home..its not the daily grind..but its the people I know and love.
Its the "meetings" in stuttgart, goeppingen, what do I know where..its the hangin around together in starbucks or somewhere else..its some services where I meet ppl I dont meet that often..Its easily the time I spend with people who have a wonderful heart, who think in a way that I do, who are fun to hang around with and ppl with whom I can talk about god without being worried what they could think about the stuff I say..and some new friendships I made through the summer..Im gonna miss all those ppl..
but for sure Im gonna find some great ppl in england too..they will have a similar heart...becos we are gonna be at a bible school..and noone who isnt "burning for god" would go to such a school
oh yeah I just dont know how everything is gonna work out...and its just hard not to know what will come..becis I reli have NO IDEA about the future...:/
but god will make it alright..I still believe this even if I dont sound like that...sometimes its hard and there are some days where Im not that sure..but all in all I just KNOW that he will!!

confusing...

the weekend was just awesome..when we arrived the party started and we danced a long time..and also had some nice conversations. After the dancing part we played some games and had just fun..
I cant help but I had such a good time up on the nordalb becos somehow its a place my heart loves..I have so many memories of this place, maybe not just good memories, also bad ones, but there are LOADS of good memories, and they weight much more than the bad stuff...
everytime I arrive there I feel like God wants to do something IN me..in my heart..and everytime Im there he really does something..its not always easy..most of the time the hard stuff happens there..
I enjoyed the weekend becos of all the precious ppl around me..becos of all the good conversations, the worship and prayer times, the chill out & fun times and the teachings..
but there were also some thought that are not easy to carry at all..
I know Im still hurt in so many parts of my heart..and thats okay..becos there were loads of things in my life that ppl did that werent okay. they hurt me, even if they didnt wanted to..they just did and there are some wounds that are not healed at all..but thats okay.
the thing that is much more irritating and confusing is all the stuff Im thinkin about atm...
its about england..Im yearning to go there and I still think that if I could I would immediatley pack my bags and fly there...and it wouldnt even be hard for the first time...but..When I go there Im gonna be there for 10 MONTHS...u know how long this is?? 10 months far far far away from here..maybe not far away from the place I call home..but far away from ppl I call "home"..from their hearts, where I sometimes find a missing piece of peace..
I know there will be awesome ppl over there...but I was always scared about being alone..thats one reason why I always wanted to go in a foreign country alone..
I actually dont even know whats my problem atm...I just know that I feel a bit lost here and that I dont really know what I should do now..Im hangin around here, my familys there, but they are not really "there"..theyre watching tv..and Im sitting in my room trying to find something that I could do but theres nothing that seems to make sense at all..I wanted to read a book (well to be honest not just one but about 3 or 4^^)...but I just dont feel like readin at the mom..
maybe its just becos Ive been surrounded of some awesome ppl the last few days..now I sit at home alone again..and I know that I should write an essay and that I should learn some business stuff..yeah maybe its the daily grind Im scared about.. jesus let me just fly away...

YOU are the one and only!! <3

Weißt du eigentlich was du bist für mich?
Alles andre als normal
und jederzeit loyal, royal
Du bist mein Fundament
Keine die mich so gut kennt,
keine die mich sieht wie du.
Old Shatterhand ich Winnetou

Immer werden wir so bleiben
Jung und frei und schön, wir beide.
Stehen auf der guten Seite
Jahr für Jahr.
Immer werden wir so bleiben,
lachen über schlechte Zeiten.
Deine Schmerzen sind auch meine.
Jahr für Jahr.

Weißt du eigentlich
was du tust für mich?
Wenn du meine Lasten trägst,
und dich mit meinen Feinden schlägst?
Ich vertrau dir mehr als mir,
und ich liebe dich dafür.
dass du bist wie du isst,
dass du niemals vergisst
was das wichtige ist.
Wir beide

Immer werden wir so bleiben.
Jung und frei und schön, wir beide
stehen auf der guten Seite.
Jahr für Jahr.
Immer werden wir so bleiben,
lachen über schlechte Zeiten.
Deine schmerzen sind auch meine.
Jahr für Jahr.
Jahr für Jahr.

We experienced sooooo many things together..I cant count all the crazy actions we started..There are countless times we laughed together and there are also so many times we cried together...we drove so many miles and walked for hours..
we played a hundred songs, we prayed, we sang, we flew to england, we slept in a tent, we walked through the rain we were lying in the sun, we sat for hours on a place and watched people walking through the streets, we prayed for people, we talked for hours, good stuff, crazy stuff, sad stuff..and we ALWAYS found a way together...we always kept the friendship..and I SURE well do it in the future too..
nothings gonna stop us, noone could hold us back..were gonna conquer the world, were gonna LIVE life like noone could imagine..our friendship will NEVER die!!
its just...today grundkurs starts again...3 years ago at OUR grundkurs we talked the first time..our story began pretty funny..but it moved on and its the most serious friendship I ever had...YOU ARE THE BEST ONE OF THE BEST ONES!!
I love u!!


now look, where we are
you're in my heart now
and there's no escaping it for you

cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last

cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last

cause you are the sun in my universe
consider the best when we felt the worst
and most of all, most of all
most of all, most of all,
most of all. most of all
it's built to last