I fake a smile...

it´s pretty strange to walk around and to know that this is not my way to go.
it´s a life that I don´t want to have and that I don´t want to live this way.
I want to change so many things but I just don´t know how.
I believe there´s God who´s bigger than anyone and anything else in this world, in the whole universe.
but when I talk to you god, when I ask your for hope, for grace or for an answer..I can´t hear you.
I want to shout out to you what my heart longs to say. but I can´t even whisper. it´s like everyone around me could see my smile and I´m sure they think everything´s alright.
(I fake a smile but you know I could die)
I´m sure that nobody knows how I´m feeling inside..and I know that they aren´t even interested.
everyone is stuck on his own problems..just like me.
I don´t want to live my life without a reason..but I know that that´s exactly what I do these days.

I´m looking to the sky
But I can´t find you, Lord
I´m searching for your grace
But I can´t even find a light

What have I done wrong?
Where is my escape?
Was it all my fault?
What can I do to be healed?

I´m staring at my wall
I´m waiting for mercy to fall
Outside I fake a smile
But you know that I could die

I miss your love around me
I miss your hope that filled me