home...

If in the morning you look up
Fake a smile and you sigh
Don't fear the future
In years to come
You'll learn, you'll learn

I used to sit and watch the pouring rain
I used to wish to be back home again
Hadn't the strength then
Hadn't the chance to reveal
but it's all, it's all in your head

When do we begin?

Although you´re so sad
Discovered things never had
It makes you wonder
A life alone
You'll learn, you'll learn

I used to sit and watch the pouring rain
I used to wish to be back home again
Hadn't the strength then
Hadn't the chance to reveal
but it's all, it's all, in your head
It's all, it's all, in your head

When do we begin?
When do we begin?
You'll learn, you'll learn, you'll learn
Don't fear the future

I used to sit and watch the pouring rain
I used to wish to be back home again
Hadn't the strength then
Hadn't the chance to reveal
but it's all, it's all, in your head
It's all, it's all, in your head
It's all, it's all, in your head

When do we begin?
(Guster - Mona Lisa)


I´m searching for home..
sometimes I think I finally reached the place (and I don´t just mean a place, I also mean people, goals,..) that I can call home..
but these times doesn´t last that long..Everytime I fall down from my cloud 7 and I hit the cold ground...then I lie in the mudd and I ask myself again: when will the time come when I´m really able to say "I´m home!" ?
I always try to get on with my life as good as it´s possible, but I often realize that I´m just hangin around, thinking, crying, be desperated, because nothing´s like it should be.
I hate that I build a thousand walls around me, just because I don´t want the people to know me. I hate the fact that there is nearly NOBODY who really knows me, all of me.
and I hate it much more that I can´t trust trust anybody 100 %.
there is one perspon who knows nearly everything but there are always some thoughts I would never speak out because I think it´s stupid or something.
I´m such a suspiciously person..my mind is thinking about things that are completley ridiculous. But I always realize when it´s too late.
I´m absolutely unsatisfied wioth my life, with myself and with everything around me.
when will I finally find the place my heart calls home? when will I finally be happy??