did I ever mention that I HATE BWL?
and did I ever told you about how BORING it is to write a presentation about the currency system - from bretton woods till the euro.
it´s absolutely senseless...WHO wants to know THIS??
oh Jeeesus..don´t you wanna write for me??
Mittwoch, 11. Juni 2008
fighting..-.-
so also im prinzip hab ich heut die bestaetigung bekommen dass meine schullaufbahn den bach runter geht..-.-
FRUEHER war es ja mal so dass man nach der 12ten klasse einfach ne dumme pruefung machen konnte und dann fachhochschulreife hatte..schoener traum!
um ne fachhochschulreife zu machen muss ich erstmal ne dreijaehrige(!!!) ausbildung machen...was ist DAS denn bitte fuer n bullshit...das willich doch gar nich..:( ganz davon abgesehen das ich einfach nich wuesste was fuer eine..
da mir mein BWL lehrer heut mal wieder ganz breit auf die nase gebunden hat dass ich mich ja quasi ganz eindeutig auf dem weg zur "nichtzulassung vom ABI" befinde weil ich ja keinen BWL kurs hab und ers mir wohl auch nicht mehr zutraut einen zu bekommen (ja okay, waer ja auch was ganz was neues wenn er mir mal irgendwas zutrauen wuerde...), bin ich jetzt natuerlich gleich doppelt motiviert meine GFS am naechsten montag zu halten (ja sogar so motiviert dass ichs jetz endlich auch mal geschafft hab was dafuer zu machen). da stellt sich mir nur ne klitzekleine frage: wozu eigentlich???
vllt sollt ichs einfach stecken wenn ich seh dass ichs wirklich verloos! ich werds dieses halbjahr noch vollens versuchen..aber danach sollte ende gelaende ein..ich hab einfach keine lust mehr mich durch sachen durchzuquaelen...ich will mich nicht quaelen..ich will LEBEN!
who am I to fight all my fucking life??
sollte es das sein was gott fuer mich vorbereitet hat dann schickts mich ziemlich..wobei ich mir von tag zu tag sicherer werd dass das eben NICHT das is was gott fuer mich vorbereitet hat!
ich will doch "nur" n eigenes kleines autolein, nen nebenjob und n platz zum leben..
okayokay...kommt zeit kommen die richtigen sachen schon von allein..nur WANN????
FRUEHER war es ja mal so dass man nach der 12ten klasse einfach ne dumme pruefung machen konnte und dann fachhochschulreife hatte..schoener traum!
um ne fachhochschulreife zu machen muss ich erstmal ne dreijaehrige(!!!) ausbildung machen...was ist DAS denn bitte fuer n bullshit...das willich doch gar nich..:( ganz davon abgesehen das ich einfach nich wuesste was fuer eine..
da mir mein BWL lehrer heut mal wieder ganz breit auf die nase gebunden hat dass ich mich ja quasi ganz eindeutig auf dem weg zur "nichtzulassung vom ABI" befinde weil ich ja keinen BWL kurs hab und ers mir wohl auch nicht mehr zutraut einen zu bekommen (ja okay, waer ja auch was ganz was neues wenn er mir mal irgendwas zutrauen wuerde...), bin ich jetzt natuerlich gleich doppelt motiviert meine GFS am naechsten montag zu halten (ja sogar so motiviert dass ichs jetz endlich auch mal geschafft hab was dafuer zu machen). da stellt sich mir nur ne klitzekleine frage: wozu eigentlich???
vllt sollt ichs einfach stecken wenn ich seh dass ichs wirklich verloos! ich werds dieses halbjahr noch vollens versuchen..aber danach sollte ende gelaende ein..ich hab einfach keine lust mehr mich durch sachen durchzuquaelen...ich will mich nicht quaelen..ich will LEBEN!
who am I to fight all my fucking life??
sollte es das sein was gott fuer mich vorbereitet hat dann schickts mich ziemlich..wobei ich mir von tag zu tag sicherer werd dass das eben NICHT das is was gott fuer mich vorbereitet hat!
ich will doch "nur" n eigenes kleines autolein, nen nebenjob und n platz zum leben..
okayokay...kommt zeit kommen die richtigen sachen schon von allein..nur WANN????
Dienstag, 10. Juni 2008
wishes come true!
ha!! :D
der Jesus hats mal wieder geschafft! he made it!!
die Kaddi und ich fahrn nach hockenheim (irgendwann...hoffentlich ganz bald!). und ich freu mich sooo unglaublich drauf!! er erfuellt mir gerade quasi jeden wunsch den ich hab irgendwie..
er kriegts immer wieder hin..it´s so awesome!!
dann hab ich heut von der Kaddi ne ganz tolle kette aus taizé gekriegt, und das allercoolste daran ist, dass ich schon vor wochen als flo die kette der nele und der kristina mitgebracht hat, beschlossen hab dass ich die mir kaufen werd wenn wir da hin fahren? isn´t that amazing?
Because Jesus told her she should give it to me!
Jesus is so awesome..!! und kaddi natuerlich auch ;)
ich schreib morgen noch geschi aber hey, das wird auch irgendwie klappen..mit dem jesus an meiner seite kann ja eigentlich gar nichts schief gehen!!
I love you Jesus, I love you! you are way too good for me, I don´t really deserve that, but it´s all because you love me and you care about me!
I am a friend of god, I am a friend of god, I am a friend of god he calls me friend!!
der Jesus hats mal wieder geschafft! he made it!!
die Kaddi und ich fahrn nach hockenheim (irgendwann...hoffentlich ganz bald!). und ich freu mich sooo unglaublich drauf!! er erfuellt mir gerade quasi jeden wunsch den ich hab irgendwie..
er kriegts immer wieder hin..it´s so awesome!!
dann hab ich heut von der Kaddi ne ganz tolle kette aus taizé gekriegt, und das allercoolste daran ist, dass ich schon vor wochen als flo die kette der nele und der kristina mitgebracht hat, beschlossen hab dass ich die mir kaufen werd wenn wir da hin fahren? isn´t that amazing?
Because Jesus told her she should give it to me!
Jesus is so awesome..!! und kaddi natuerlich auch ;)
ich schreib morgen noch geschi aber hey, das wird auch irgendwie klappen..mit dem jesus an meiner seite kann ja eigentlich gar nichts schief gehen!!
I love you Jesus, I love you! you are way too good for me, I don´t really deserve that, but it´s all because you love me and you care about me!
I am a friend of god, I am a friend of god, I am a friend of god he calls me friend!!
Montag, 9. Juni 2008
Father, into your hands I commend my spirit
Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave his only son just to save us
The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Father's broken heart
Tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
Search your heart, you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave his only son just to save us
The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the father's broken heart
Tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
Now Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
oh He is alive
He rose again
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
Come close listen to the story
(Phil Wickham - True Love)
could there be any place on earth where we could find a love that is bigger than the love of god? of jesus?
is there anybody who would give his own son? is there anybody who would get nailed upon a cross although he didn´t do anything, no, in fact he did only good things!
I do believe and I know that there is NOBODY in this world, in this whole universe who would have a bigger love for us. NOBODY!
and it´s all just because of our sins..the mad things we do again every and every day..
yes, do you understand that?
JESUS DIED FOR YOU at the cross. he beared all this pain, he suffered like a dog, but what did he do? did he adjudge anybody for that?
NO! he just said "FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO"
could there be a greater love, when he even prays for the people who killed him, laughed about him? NO! NO! NO!
and at the end of everything, when he died he said "FATHER, INTO YOUR HANDS I COMMEND MY SPIRIT!"
and that´s what I wanna do too! I wanna commend my spirit into my fathers hands...
not in the way jesus did, because he died..I wanna give my life into the hands of my father.
and I know, HE´LL MAKE SOMETHING GOOD OUTTA IT!
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave his only son just to save us
The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Father's broken heart
Tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
Search your heart, you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave his only son just to save us
The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the father's broken heart
Tears were filling heaven's eyes
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
Now Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
oh He is alive
He rose again
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that true love died, the day that true love died
Come close listen to the story
(Phil Wickham - True Love)
could there be any place on earth where we could find a love that is bigger than the love of god? of jesus?
is there anybody who would give his own son? is there anybody who would get nailed upon a cross although he didn´t do anything, no, in fact he did only good things!
I do believe and I know that there is NOBODY in this world, in this whole universe who would have a bigger love for us. NOBODY!
and it´s all just because of our sins..the mad things we do again every and every day..
yes, do you understand that?
JESUS DIED FOR YOU at the cross. he beared all this pain, he suffered like a dog, but what did he do? did he adjudge anybody for that?
NO! he just said "FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO"
could there be a greater love, when he even prays for the people who killed him, laughed about him? NO! NO! NO!
and at the end of everything, when he died he said "FATHER, INTO YOUR HANDS I COMMEND MY SPIRIT!"
and that´s what I wanna do too! I wanna commend my spirit into my fathers hands...
not in the way jesus did, because he died..I wanna give my life into the hands of my father.
and I know, HE´LL MAKE SOMETHING GOOD OUTTA IT!
Sonntag, 8. Juni 2008
Take all of me..
The greatest love that anyone could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You
With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You
I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You
You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name
ich will nichts anderes mehr..
Jesus, you´re the only one..I´ll go wherever you want me to.
I´ll do what you want me to. I´ll give all I am, all my heart, all my soul, because in the end YOU are the only one who can save me and who can fix my fucked up and broken life!
In you I have hope and future!
Take all of me and give me challenges and missions..
I´ll go jesus, I´ll go!
That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You
With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come
And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You
I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You
You are the voice that calls the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me
And 'til I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in you
You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name
ich will nichts anderes mehr..
Jesus, you´re the only one..I´ll go wherever you want me to.
I´ll do what you want me to. I´ll give all I am, all my heart, all my soul, because in the end YOU are the only one who can save me and who can fix my fucked up and broken life!
In you I have hope and future!
Take all of me and give me challenges and missions..
I´ll go jesus, I´ll go!
Samstag, 7. Juni 2008
bristol
ich traeum von nichts mehr..
außer davon nach Bristol zu gehen!
und ich koennte sogar (zumindest fuer ne woche)
aber es geht nicht! aaaaaaaaah!
it just feels like every day I´m living here is a wasted day..in truth that´s of course not right..but do you know the feeling that you need to go away NOW, because anything else would be nonsense?
jesus christ, if i just think about staying here another year I´m going to get crazy!
Wooow I received an email at the moment from one of these guys from bristol.
Please god, open up doors, give me a chance!!
außer davon nach Bristol zu gehen!
und ich koennte sogar (zumindest fuer ne woche)
aber es geht nicht! aaaaaaaaah!
it just feels like every day I´m living here is a wasted day..in truth that´s of course not right..but do you know the feeling that you need to go away NOW, because anything else would be nonsense?
jesus christ, if i just think about staying here another year I´m going to get crazy!
Wooow I received an email at the moment from one of these guys from bristol.
Please god, open up doors, give me a chance!!
Donnerstag, 5. Juni 2008
it´s just like...god KNOWS what he´s doing!
Amazing!!
I´ve been to "days of power" today..well the message was cool, it was about filling life up with god..searching love from god and not from the wrong "fillers"
but what impressed me much more were those african people who were there.
They danced..and it was awesome..I saw they danced for God, and in gods light and glory it was 5 times more amazing then it was anyway..
just how they moved..there´s only one thing I can say: woooow!!
so today I wrote with a girl I got to know at the domino camp 2005. and guess where she is?
Yes exactly! she´s at the bible-school in england where I long to be.
Just like I knew it..^^ Her father was on the network camp too, and he knew those british guys...and she told me a few weeks ago that she would be on a bible school in england which people know her father...and she offered me the chance to come for a week to see how it is.
I´d only need to buy my ticket for plain and the train from manchester, there´s a bed in her room and everything. And I could bite my ass, because that would be in the beginning of august and in that time I will be on holdiays. I´m really thinking about going there and not to that holidays..but i don´t know..I think if god wants me to go there he´ll find a way.
O god I really would like to go there, it would be SO amazing! please, give me another chance, please god!
I saw that i totally forgot to write down here what stefan driess´ prophecy for me was:
he said I would go on and on and on and that i´ll reach what I´m going for and that Jesus has a job for me in his first row.
and that I will be on missions one day..
I´m so excited lord! sooooo excited! it´s so amazing. huuuuuh god use me!
I´ve been to "days of power" today..well the message was cool, it was about filling life up with god..searching love from god and not from the wrong "fillers"
but what impressed me much more were those african people who were there.
They danced..and it was awesome..I saw they danced for God, and in gods light and glory it was 5 times more amazing then it was anyway..
just how they moved..there´s only one thing I can say: woooow!!
so today I wrote with a girl I got to know at the domino camp 2005. and guess where she is?
Yes exactly! she´s at the bible-school in england where I long to be.
Just like I knew it..^^ Her father was on the network camp too, and he knew those british guys...and she told me a few weeks ago that she would be on a bible school in england which people know her father...and she offered me the chance to come for a week to see how it is.
I´d only need to buy my ticket for plain and the train from manchester, there´s a bed in her room and everything. And I could bite my ass, because that would be in the beginning of august and in that time I will be on holdiays. I´m really thinking about going there and not to that holidays..but i don´t know..I think if god wants me to go there he´ll find a way.
O god I really would like to go there, it would be SO amazing! please, give me another chance, please god!
I saw that i totally forgot to write down here what stefan driess´ prophecy for me was:
he said I would go on and on and on and that i´ll reach what I´m going for and that Jesus has a job for me in his first row.
and that I will be on missions one day..
I´m so excited lord! sooooo excited! it´s so amazing. huuuuuh god use me!
Mittwoch, 4. Juni 2008
forget about you?
I almost forgot the date of this day..
what happened 2 years ago..I almost didn´t notive that it´s exactly this day...
I wish I had..
because now I sit here and I fall back a little bit..
falling back to memories I don´t really wann have..cause I think I´m at the point where I can say it´s over..over over over!
It was a wonderful time, I experienced some wonderful things, there were somebody who really shoewd me a lot for my life.
but well we all changed, you´ve been away..I stayed here..
but this one day in the year 2006 I´ll never forget..it´s something that holds us together forever..well I think so..you rather don´t.
but that´s something nobody can take away from me..and I´ll never let it go.
you mean a lot to me..you still do.
All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming back
All of this forgotten
Not by me
what happened 2 years ago..I almost didn´t notive that it´s exactly this day...
I wish I had..
because now I sit here and I fall back a little bit..
falling back to memories I don´t really wann have..cause I think I´m at the point where I can say it´s over..over over over!
It was a wonderful time, I experienced some wonderful things, there were somebody who really shoewd me a lot for my life.
but well we all changed, you´ve been away..I stayed here..
but this one day in the year 2006 I´ll never forget..it´s something that holds us together forever..well I think so..you rather don´t.
but that´s something nobody can take away from me..and I´ll never let it go.
you mean a lot to me..you still do.
All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming back
All of this forgotten
Not by me
Dienstag, 3. Juni 2008
gods ways to lead me to my way
you can call me crazy!!
and slowly I also believe I am!
but you know what? I DON´T CARE!
People, I see Jesus! everyday again and again..I see him working and changing things and people around me. I hear his voice that is telling me what I have to do!
I feel his love, his glory and his grace inside of me. everything seems to be easier.
I no longer believe that he is right here next to me..I no longer believe he can change things..and I no longer doubt about his ways.
I KNOW that he´s with me all the time! I KNOW he CAN and WILL change things and I KNOW he has the right way for me...I´ll go on this way as long as he wants me to.
and if he wants me to turn around or to move my ass to another place he will show me.
I know there´s a reason for everything that is happening here. there´s a reason that I´m on this school. maybe I need to learn that there´s no sense in running away from the things that are hard to bear. maybe he really wants me to bring him, God, to this school.
maybe he thinks I could need those people there in my life..and yeah, maybe he´s right.
I got to know wonderful people, I wouldn´t wanna miss them..
and maybe there are some scrutinies that I have to pass...I know that every single problem there makes me ready to go out someday..to go my way.
and the most important thing in all this confusing stuff is that I don´t lose sight of God.
that I hold on to my amazing lord. that I fix my eyes upon my jesus. because without him it won´t work..that´s the only thing that´s really clear to me.
And yes I´m sitting here and I´m waiting for a few answers that could maybe change my whole life! and it´s hard to sit here and to wait and wait and wait and nothing´s going on..but maybe that´s just another challenge..maybe I´m too impatient..I know I am ;)
Just like to have a stupid mail now..but yeah, there´s nothing I can do but wait..and God knows what he´s doing.
Today in school I was absolutely amazed..I got back 14 point in religion..I couldn´t believe that! because after I wrote this examination I just felt like God told me absolutely everything I should write down. I felt like I wrote a preaching and I didn´t know if this was good or bad..I thought maybe I totally got 100 points or I´ll absolutely fail..
well apparently I got my 100 points..well...99 but I don´t care because I know it was God and that´s so amazing!
Tomorrow and on thursday I´ll fast..because God told me I should..So I would..I don´t know why, but I guess it´s because I should have a deep time with god..so I also wanna try to use my computer as less as possible..
Daddy I´m living for you..and everyday I find out a bit more what that really means! I love you God!
and slowly I also believe I am!
but you know what? I DON´T CARE!
People, I see Jesus! everyday again and again..I see him working and changing things and people around me. I hear his voice that is telling me what I have to do!
I feel his love, his glory and his grace inside of me. everything seems to be easier.
I no longer believe that he is right here next to me..I no longer believe he can change things..and I no longer doubt about his ways.
I KNOW that he´s with me all the time! I KNOW he CAN and WILL change things and I KNOW he has the right way for me...I´ll go on this way as long as he wants me to.
and if he wants me to turn around or to move my ass to another place he will show me.
I know there´s a reason for everything that is happening here. there´s a reason that I´m on this school. maybe I need to learn that there´s no sense in running away from the things that are hard to bear. maybe he really wants me to bring him, God, to this school.
maybe he thinks I could need those people there in my life..and yeah, maybe he´s right.
I got to know wonderful people, I wouldn´t wanna miss them..
and maybe there are some scrutinies that I have to pass...I know that every single problem there makes me ready to go out someday..to go my way.
and the most important thing in all this confusing stuff is that I don´t lose sight of God.
that I hold on to my amazing lord. that I fix my eyes upon my jesus. because without him it won´t work..that´s the only thing that´s really clear to me.
And yes I´m sitting here and I´m waiting for a few answers that could maybe change my whole life! and it´s hard to sit here and to wait and wait and wait and nothing´s going on..but maybe that´s just another challenge..maybe I´m too impatient..I know I am ;)
Just like to have a stupid mail now..but yeah, there´s nothing I can do but wait..and God knows what he´s doing.
Today in school I was absolutely amazed..I got back 14 point in religion..I couldn´t believe that! because after I wrote this examination I just felt like God told me absolutely everything I should write down. I felt like I wrote a preaching and I didn´t know if this was good or bad..I thought maybe I totally got 100 points or I´ll absolutely fail..
well apparently I got my 100 points..well...99 but I don´t care because I know it was God and that´s so amazing!
Tomorrow and on thursday I´ll fast..because God told me I should..So I would..I don´t know why, but I guess it´s because I should have a deep time with god..so I also wanna try to use my computer as less as possible..
Daddy I´m living for you..and everyday I find out a bit more what that really means! I love you God!
Montag, 2. Juni 2008
amazing god
I´m so amazed by our glorious, amazing and holy god!
there is this guy, stefan driess...and I heard him speaking, preaching and praying yesterday and it was amazing! he´s real, he´s on fire for god.
and I bought his book and I´m reading it and I can´t believe it.
I can´t believe this is the man that stood before me yesterday.
it´s unbelievable, what god makes out of a broken life.
this man was on the edge from life to death..he lived a destroyed life..destroyed from satan and from people..but he found such a new strength in god...
Now I definetly know what it means when we sing "in your presence broken lifes are made new - you make us new. cause when we see you we find strength to face the day..in your presence all our fears are washed away" it´s true..it´s easily true!
Use me god, I´m here..take my life and do what you want with me!
there is this guy, stefan driess...and I heard him speaking, preaching and praying yesterday and it was amazing! he´s real, he´s on fire for god.
and I bought his book and I´m reading it and I can´t believe it.
I can´t believe this is the man that stood before me yesterday.
it´s unbelievable, what god makes out of a broken life.
this man was on the edge from life to death..he lived a destroyed life..destroyed from satan and from people..but he found such a new strength in god...
Now I definetly know what it means when we sing "in your presence broken lifes are made new - you make us new. cause when we see you we find strength to face the day..in your presence all our fears are washed away" it´s true..it´s easily true!
Use me god, I´m here..take my life and do what you want with me!
Abonnieren
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