what my heart wants to say...

hey you..
I hope you read this someday..
I just want to tell you how I feel, I want you to know what you do to me
I see no other way, because I won´t write an email especially to you..
if you ever read this, you don´t need to say anything (except you want to..), just read, think and try to understand me..
I know you´ll know that it´s for you...
it´s been a year ago when I told you everything...I didn´t expect anything...I know you wouldn´t feel like I do...but I also know that there were many things where I had hope..
anyway, I knew what you would tell me..but you told me much nicer and you said things I never thought you would say..
nevertheless I could´ve killed myself after this conversation..I was down..and I still am, because nothing changed at all..it´s even worse..
I know you´ve been away, I´m sure you experienced many things that nobody knows..or I don´t know..
I was interested..you could have told me, I really wanted to know..but you didn´t care..you didn´t care at all...you didn´t care about me...although you told me you´d understand me and my feelings, you didn´t take care about them.
and that´s it what hurts me so bad...and it hurts like hell...
I can´t tell you how much you mean to me, because words can´t describe what i feel
I can´t tell you anything at all because everything would relativate the feeling straight from my heart...