easter and stuff

so, this is easter...
What can i say? Im more and more amazed of how God is and what he did for me about 2000 years ago...I know, its the same every year again, but it seems like every year Id realize it again and again..and every year again I cant believe it! I cant understand that he gave so much for me..that he gave everything so that I can be free and saved..WOW!!
sometimes when I talk to some people I get sad, because they just cant understand what I think about it..they cant understand the truth..the truth that they are free and saved if they only believe in him...
Its sad to see people you love ruin their lives because they cant see the truth..but Im gonna keep praying for them..
But my easter-days were actually pretty nice!! spend some time with my family and some time with friends and I had lots of fun..well the best friend was missing..but Im soo lookin foreward to summer...
Im trying to figure out what my way is, where god wants me to go..thats quite interesting, because theres nothing thats sure by now..
There are only a few things I know..: I need some time for me and God...to grow, to get deeper into this relationship, to learn more about myself, my life and where its gonna lead me..
And I need people I can learn from..People I know they got wisdom and they know a lot of Gods kingdom and that can show me the things they know and that challenge me..
I realize that Im really searching for people at the moment..people who are older than I am and who can tell me about their lives..because its so interesting and also important to learn from them..I guess thats also a way to get some wisdom..life-experiences..
And I love those times where I can just listen to those people or talk to them..
And I hope that I can be somebody someday who is such a person for the younger generation..someone they love to talk to, someone they just love to drink coffee with and to listen to them.
And I also really wanna be somebody as they prophecied over me..somebody the older people love to hang out with because they can also learn something from me..I actually often dont see what older people could learn from me, but I think has his own ways!!
And what Im still longing to be is somebody who is a real love-giver..pure love-giver!! I often realize that there are some people that are really hard to love..and even if its just because some things that happened in the past..there are some people..I still havent forgave them eventhough I prayed about it about 20 times.. I just wanna let work god through it because one thing I know: I cant do it by myself..I cant change myself..thats Gods part!
Im excited what comes..Im gonna meet some great people the next few days..to hang out, to drink coffee with them, to talk to them..and thats amazing!! And from wednesday to sunday Im gonna be at the leiterkurs..guess thats gonna be cool...I hope to have some good conversations there..and also Im gonna be at the soul-devotion counselor-weekend on friday and saturday! And thats the thing Im excited and scared of the most..because Im sure there will be many things God will bring up..I already feel that..and its good when God brings up stuff from the past..thats why Im excited..but its also really painful sometimes and thats why Im scared..
But he would never do things that are too much for me, so Im gonna trust in him that its gonna be really good!! And I know Im gonna have some amazing times this week..also because of the people Im gonna meet!
Well yeah..Im excited what will happen..Holy spirit, take control!! Take control over my life, my mind and my feelings..God come and let your strength rise in me so that I can become more like you are..Come and let your glory fall on me..Holy spirit DANCE!!